Text 613, 123 rader
Skriven 2006-04-21 10:11:00 av MICHAEL LOO (1:123/140)
     Kommentar till en text av GLEN JAMIESON
Ärende: Flying things 555
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 GJ> Was there a truck anywhere near at the time?  It sometimes happens
 GJ> that a stone jammed between the dual rear tyres of a truck gets thrown
 GJ> out when the truck gets up to highway speeds.

It's reported to have been the size of a baseball or softball.
For those who don't know about such things, the former is
the size of a small orange, and the latter is the size of a
large orange or small grapefruit. A formidable missile to be
thrown up from between truck tires. Anyhow, the rock is said
to have had a trajectory perceived as straight down. Carol's
objection to my suggestion is that she can't imagine anyone
throwing something up so that it fell in this way from way
outside her field of vision. I didn't point out to her that
I once injured my arm throwing popups for her offspring, nor
that on one occasion I threw an object (an orange, actually)
over a six-story dormitory building that landed on the lawn
of the dean of students's residence beyond - and my arms are
not by any means overstrong, although flexible and slightly
peculiarly built. It's interesting, because I had (and have)
difficulty throwing a baseball 60 feet horizontally (what a
pitcher must do a hundred times in a game) but was able to
throw something of similar size over 60 feet vertically and
that landed over 60 feet horizontal distance away.

=

 GJ> So you were lucky to get 2A, and the first brandy.

Pure skill.

 GJ> A uniform and a bit of gold braid is immensely helpful there.
 ML> Not a chance of that for me, though my father is a wannabe army
 GJ> I'm sure that if you arrived, wearing a spectacular uniform (hired for
 GJ> the occasion) with no obvious indication of country of attachment,
 GJ> that would make an immediate status impression, at least until they
 GJ> saw your nationality on your passport.

There is talk on the frequent flyer bbs of the possibility of
hiring a military uniform and showing up at the gate in a
tired and scruffy-looking state in the hope that the agent
will take pity on the poor young thing just back from Iraq
and give him or her a free upgrade. The tired and scruffy-
looking state is the only part I would be convincing at.

 GJ> With 2 members of my family having formerly worked for Rupert, but now
 GJ> Independent, I have been told tales of how his tentacles spread,
 GJ> cancer-like, to the furthermost outposts of his empire.

Rupert doesn't have a lock on the independent press just quite yet.
And one of the things good one can say about the US of A is that
there is a large enough constituency that an independent press
can be supported almost with profit to the principals.

 GJ> The check-in man drew back and in an equally loud voice announced to
 GJ> the waiting multitude, "We have here a man who doesn't know who he is.
 GJ> Can anyone help him?"

Old story, perhaps true, as I have actually seen people
ask "do you know who I am" on the airplane, and in the most
recent case, he was convincing enough so that an attendant
scurried off to confer with senior staff to find out who
the guy was. It was subsequently determined that he was not
so important that his requirements had to be catered to.

=

Here's the story as I first heard it. It was told in a more
innocent time, when such agents were almost always female.

Agent: Flight 999 has been cancelled. Please approach the
podium for reaccommodation.

[obedient queue forms. Important-looking man with a suit
and tie and briefcase strides up to the front.]

Agent: I'm sorry, sir, you have to get into line with
everyone else.

Pax: But I have an important appointment, I must not miss it.

Agent: Everyone here has to be someplace; it wouldn't be
fair to the others to take you before everyone else.

Pax: Do you know who I AM?

Agent: We have here a man who doesn't know who he is.
Can anyone help him?

[giggles from the crowd]

Pax: Eff you!

Agent: Sorry, sir, you have to stand in line for that, too.

[pax slinks away to back of queue]

=

 GJ> Interestingly, my main examiner then appeared to be of that "brown
 GJ> persuasion", as are quite a few Singaporeans.   And yes, the American
 GJ> examiners seem to be equally unpleasant to everyone.

They may well give extra attention to their own kind, by
orders from above.

 GJ> It is interesting to see what items may be considered "Royal".
 GJ> Title: Brown Rice Royal

Three-Legged Monkey
cat: booze
servings: 1

1 oz Crown Royal
1 oz amaretto
1 oz pineapple juice

Shake and strain, into rocks glass.

monkeyday.com

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