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 lista första sista föregående nästa
Text 4174, 85 rader
Skriven 2006-05-12 06:57:29 av George Pope (1:153/715.1275)
Ärende: Laffaway
================
Two old men were sitting on a bench in the park one day and
one man said to the other, "Slim, I feel 82 years old. All
these aches and pains are a sign of old age. How do you feel?"

The other said, "I feel like a newborn babe. No hair, no teeth
and I think I just shit my pants."


Bob Hope...

Passed away 07-27-2003 at age 100

ON TURNING 70 "You still chase women, but only downhill".

ON TURNING 80 "That's the time of your life when even your
birthday suit needs pressing."

ON TURNING 90 "You know you're getting old when the candles
cost more than the cake."

ON TURNING 100 "I don't feel old. In fact I don't feel
anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap."

ON GIVING UP HIS EARLY CAREER, BOXING "I ruined my hands in
the ring. The referee kept stepping on them."

ON SAILORS "They spend the first six days of each week sowing
their wild oats, then they go to church on Sunday and pray
for crop failure."

ON NEVER WINNING AN OSCAR "Welcome to the Academy Awards or,
as it's called at my home, 'Passover'."

ON GOLF "Golf is my profession. Show business is just to pay
the green fees."

ON PRESIDENTS "I have performed for 12 presidents and
entertained only six."

ON WHY HE CHOSE SHOWBIZ FOR HIS CAREER "When I was born, the
doctor said to my mother, 'Congratulations. You have an eight-
pound ham'."

ON RECEIVING THE CONGRESSIONAL GOLD MEDAL "I feel very humble,
but I think I have the strength of character to fight it."

ON HIS FAMILY'S EARLY POVERTY "Four of us slept in the one bed.
When it got cold, mother threw on another brother."

ON HIS SIX BROTHERS "That's how I learned to dance. Waiting
for the bathroom."

ON HIS EARLY FAILURES "I would not have had anything to eat
if it wasn't for the stuff the audience threw at me."

ON GOING TO HEAVEN "I've done benefits for ALL religions. I'd
hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality."




The above joke taken from an August, 2003 issue of TZ's Laffaday (yes,
I'm THAT far behind on my archived emails!)

If you are interested in the newsletter (one of my favourites) you can
subscribe (if it's still around) at:

http://www.gophercentral.com/sub/laff.html

Hope you had a laugh!  Hope you got an extra funny around for ME(& the
rare others left here in Fidonet's funniest echo)


Your Moderator and all-round friend/servant,
|<+]::-) ("Cyberpope")
Internet: gapope@vcn.bc.ca
1)If you don't like a joke, post 2-3 examples of what you DO like!
B)If you DO like a joke, say thank-you with 2-3 jokes of your own! :)

(AKA the Bishop of ROM!)



--- PPoint 1.76
 * Origin: Cyberpope pointing via Bandmaster BBS! (1:153/715.1275)