Text 4681, 83 rader
Skriven 2006-10-11 21:29:00 av Greg Sears
Ärende: BOO
===========
.  o  _   From the Desk of Greg Sears AREA: F-UNNY
. Q\_|_)   --=[ I C E-man's FUNNY BONE Collection Book for ALL ]=--
. T> III                     Page: 14

               HAVING A POLITICALLY CORRECT HALLOWEEN

                                                __..--,
 Political correctness is taking its         .-'     /
 toll on Halloween.  Consider some         .`       /
 old Halloween activities,                /         |
 for example:                            /==========|
                                 _______/___________|______
 * WITCH BURNING --            '-------<<<<<<<<<<<<<\------'
                                    ,--'a <<<<<<<<<<<<
 Just singe one around the         (___.    >>>>>>>>>>>
 edges today and the ERA           .--'--' <<<<<<<<<<<
 types will be on you like         `--,___,>>>>>>>>>>
 stink on a skunk!  What 30           _,-'         '.
 centuries of                   _.--''    _.-'       \
 white male                   .'      _.-' \          \
 authors used      (`'--..__  /'-,__.' ,-~~`.          |
 to call            `'--..__`'--..__ ,'      `-        |
 witches, are               `'--..__/    .'           /
 today respected as                |          ,      /  ,\/.___
 complexion-impaired,              `-._      |\      ('-.\|=-._`=-._
 wardrobe-challenged          jgs   /  (`-.__/-`-,___;-.>/=-._=-._=._
 women ... uh, womyn.             _/-` | /  (           /|'_=-._=-._
                                 /___/Y_/-` |            `=-._=-._=
 * WINDOW WAXING --                   /___/Y                  =-.

 These days you'll only set
 off the light, noise, motion, and aroma sensitive burglar alarm, and
 quickly exit in cuffs and revolving lights -- if you're lucky enough
 not to leave prime filet of leg with the neighborhood rottweiler.

                       _...----.         * TRICK-OR-TREATING --
                     .'    .-'`
                   ,''--..;              This obviously would be
                  /       |              prosecuted as a violation of
          _______/________|_______       federal RICO [racketeering]
         `-----/// _\  /_ \\-----`      statutes, except that most
           .---./ / o\/o \ \.---.                 of the perpetrators
          <(_ /// \__/\__/ \\ _)>   _.---.       are juveniles, and
           '-. //    oo    \ .-'  .'   .__`\     thus have the civil
        o    /// __..--..__ \\   /       \`\|    right to thumb their
     o-'*'-o //| '\/\/\/\/' |\  /         ; '    noses at the law and
     \*\|/*/   ;--. """"  .-;   |   _   _  |      be back on the
    .-'---'-. / \|||-....(|||`\ |  (o) (o) |      street before the
   /         \ /\           /\|/           |      candy runs out.
   |  .---,  |/  \         /  ;  '         |
   | / e e \ |    '.     .'   |   '-.       \     And then there are
    \|  ^  |/       '---'     |              \_     the treats
    ()._-_.()     T R I C K   |     .._.----/` \       themselves:
   ,/\'._.'/\. '  .           |    /   ``"-/||\ \
  / \/     \/ \     O R       |   |            `7,   * Candy should be
 |  ^^_____^^  |              | . /// _          |   dispensed only
 |oOO`     `OOo|  T R E A T   ; |' / |_) _       |   with balancing
 \| '._____.' |/             /  \-|  |_)/ \ _    |   doses of Ritalin,
  |::         | '.__     __,;    `|     \_// \   |   soft-bristle
  |::         |     `````   |     |        \_/  ;    toothbrushes and
  |::         |             |      \           /     an effective (but
  \::.        /_____________|       ``'--..___/      fluoride-free)
   '._______.' '-|   |   |-'                 |       dentifrice.
     |_ | _|     |   |   |               __.-;
     \  |  /     /-._|_.-\                    \   * Apples should be
      \_|_/     /`'-.|.-'`\                   /   organic, Alar-free,
     /--T--\   /    .'.    \'-..____.---''''``    union-packed, washed
    (__/ \__)  \____/  \___/             jgs      in genuine American
                                                  Zephyrhills water,
 and X-rayed before being handed out. Any worms should be housed, fed,
 read their rights, then returned to their native soil, or, if they so
 choose, given refugee status in yours.


         _                                                 _
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        (_.===============================================._)


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