Text 4779, 64 rader
Skriven 2007-02-02 20:25:00 av Greg Sears
Ärende: Bone
============
.  o  _   From the Desk of Greg Sears AREA: F-UNNY
. Q\_|_)   --=[ I C E-man's FUNNY BONE Collection Book for ALL ]=--
. T> III                     Page: 20

                    An Operation To Make Me Sterile

    Dear Sir,

    I wish to apply for an operation to make me sterile. My reasons are
    numerous. After being married for seven years and having got seven
    children, I have come to the conclusion that contraceptives are
    useless.

    After getting married I was advised to use the rhythm method.
    Despite trying the bhangra , my wife fell pregnant and I ruptured
    myself doing the bhale-bhale. Apart from that, where do you find a
    band when you get the urge at two o'clock in the morning?

    A doctor suggested the safe period. At the time, we were living with
    in-laws and we had to wait three weeks for the safe period, when the
    house was empty. Needless to say this didn't work, and the wife got
    pregnant.
                                                         _)_
    A lady of several years experience said if we     .-'(/ '-.
    made love while breast feeding we would be       /    `    \
    all right. Well, I finished up with a clear     /  -     -  \
    skin, silky hair and was very healthy...       (`  a     a  `)
    but the wife got pregnant yet again.            \     ^     /
                                                     '. '---' .'
    Another tale we heard was if the wife jumped     .-`'---'`-.
    up and down after intercourse this would        /           \
    prevent pregnancy. She slipped a disk but      /  / '   ' \  \
    still got pregnant again.                    _/  /|       |\  \_
                                                `/|\` |+++++++|`/|\`
    I asked the chemist about the condoms and        /\       /\
    he demonstrated them, so I bought a packet.      | `-._.-` |
    My wife fell pregnant again, which did not       \   / \   /
    surprise me as I never did believe how           |_ |   | _|
    stretching one of those things over your         | _|   |_ |
    thumb could prevent babies.                  jgs (ooO   Ooo)

    We tried the coil next but that didn't work.  It had a left-hand
    screw and my wife is definitely a right-hand screw.

    The Dutch cap was next and seemed to be our answer, but my wife
    got severe headaches when the only size available was too tight
    across forehead.

    Eventually we tried the Pill, but it kept dropping out, so she
    tried it between her knees and I couldn't get anywhere near her.

    You must appreciate my problems.  If I can't have the operation I
    will have to resort to oral sex, and I can't believe that talking
    about it is any substitute for the real thing.

         _                                                 _
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