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Möte FUNNY, 4886 texter
 lista första sista föregående nästa
Text 549, 140 rader
Skriven 2004-11-15 14:58:00 av George Pope
     Kommentar till en text av GREG SEARS
Ärende: A story
===============
GS> 1. Tom's mom had three children. The first was named May, the second was
GS> June. What was the third childs name?

Couldn't be TOM, could it?

GS> 2. The manufacturer doesn't want to use it, the buyer doesn't need to use
GS> it, and the user doesn't know he's using it. What is it?

It's not the coughin' that carries you off; it's the COFFIN they carry you off
in!

GS> 3. The word CANDY can be spelled using just 2 letters. Can you figure out
GS> how?

Looks to me like you just did it!

GS> 4. Bill bets Craig $100 that he can predict the score of the hockey game
GS> before it starts. Craig agrees, but loses the bet. Why did Craig lose the
GS> bet?

Cuz Bill knew it was the same as the score of next week's FOOTBALL game before
it even started!

GS> 5. What is the next 3 letters in this sequence?
GS> o t t f f s s _ _ _

one
to
try
for
five
seck
seventh
h)eavenly
a)ngels's
w)ings

GS> 6. FOUR is HALF of FIVE.
GS> Is this statement True or False?

Yes, it is!

GS> 8. What do these 3 have in common? Superman, Moses, The Cabbage Patch
GS> Kids.

I've read about them all.

GS> 9. What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and gray when you
GS> throw it away?

An African-American witch burned at the stake?

GS> 10. Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Monday,
GS> Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday?

1. the day before my birthday
2. My birthday
3. the day after my birthday

GS> 13. Hi! Ma and Pa told me I'd better say that all the two-letter words in
GS> this paragraph have something in common ...... or else! What's the common
GS> factor here?

What do they all have in common?  They're all 2-letter words!

GS> 16. In olden days you are a clever thief charged with treason against the
GS> king and sentenced to death. But the king decides to be a little lenient
GS> and lets you choose your own way to die. What way should you choose?
GS> Remember, you're clever!

Old age.

GS> 20. A man was found murdered on Sunday morning. His wife immediately
GS> called the police. The police questioned the wife and staff and got these
GS> alibis:
GS> The Wife said she was sleeping.
GS> The Cook was cooking breakfast.
GS> The Gardener was picking vegetables.
GS> The Maid was getting the mail.
GS> The Butler was cleaning the closet.

They're probably gonna say the mail doesn't come on a Sunday, but in some
places, I'm sure it does! (eg. Israel)

more riddles:


1).  What is a four-letter word that ends in k and means the same as
intercourse?

2).  What is it that a cow has four of and a woman has only two of? 

3).  What can you find in a man's pants that is about six inches long,
has a head on it, and that women love so much that they often blow it?

4).  What word starts with f and ends with u-c-k?

5).  Name five words that are each four letters long, end in u-n-t, one
of which is a word for a woman?

6).  What does a dog do that you can step into?

7).  What four letter word begins with f and ends with k, and if you
can't get one you can use your hands?

8).  What is hard, six inches long, has two nuts, and can make a girl
fat?

9).  What four-letter word ends in i-t and is found on the bottom of
birdcages?

10). What is it that all men have one of; it's longer on some men than
on others; the pope doesn't use his; and a man gives it to his wife
after they're married?

     ANSWERS:
     1.    (talk)
     2.    (legs)
     3.    (a twenty dollar bill)
     4.    (firetruck)
     5.    (bunt, hunt, runt, punt, aunt) 
     6.    (pants)
     7.    (fork)
     8.    (Almond Joy candy bar)
     9.    (grit)
     10.   (last name) 


Your Moderator and all-round friend/servant,
<+]::-{(} ("Cyberpope")
Internet: gapope@vcn.bc.ca
1)If you don't like a joke, post 2-3 examples of what you DO like!
B)If you DO like a joke, say thank-you with 2-3 jokes of your own! :)

(AKA the Bishop of ROM!)

... nfx v3.1                                                                 

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 * Origin: Milky Way, Langley, BC [604] 532-4367 (1:153/307)