Text 842, 485 rader
Skriven 2004-12-27 10:52:00 av George Pope
Ärende: Merry Saturn-mas!
=========================
Check out this story in pictures/cartoons:



http://e-sheep.com/Saturnalia/

More paganesque celebratories, with a song:

OLD TIME RELIGION

At the temple of ASTARTE,
all they ever do is party
Fill your cup and drink up hearty,
and it's good enough for me.*

We will visit APHRODITE,
though she's mighty wild and flighty
She will greet us in her nightie,
and she's good enough for me.

Well, they also call her VENUS,
she's the cutest but the meanest
'Cause she bit me on the . . . elbow,
which is good enough for me.*

Oh, we all sang out Hosanna,
and we took off for NIRVANA
We got hijacked to Havana,
which was good enough for me.*

It was good for old JEHOVAH,
had a son who was a nova
Hey there Mithras, move on over,
cause he's good enough for me.

I hear VALKYRIES a coming, in
the air their song is thrumming
They forgot the words-they're humming-
but they're good enough for me.

There are people into VOODOO,
there are people who do hoodoo
I know I do - I hope you do,
and it's good enough for me.

I was singing HARE RAMA,
with my friend the Dalai Lama
Till they threw us in the slammer,
which was good enough for me.*

ASMODEUS will excite us,
to an orgy he'll invite us
If the high priest doesn't bite us,
then it's good enough for me.*

We will all give praise to HORUS,
in an old Egyptian chorus
If there's something in it for us,
then it's good enough for me.*

Do the rites of old CTHULHU,
you and me and Mr. Sulu
Howling like a drunken Zulu,
but it's good enough for me.*

We will sing to RONNIE GHU
un-til he asks us what we're doin'
Cause it's good enough for you,
and babe, it's good enough for me.*

We will sacrifice to KALI,
though embracing her is folly
She'd be quite an armful - golly -
but she's good enough for me.

We give praise to old OSIRIS,
as we sit and smoke papyrus
We will prob'ly catch a virus,
but it's good enough for me.

SUN MOON'S kids are kind of funny,
but they stick to him like honey
He just wants their souls and money,
and it's good enough for him.

It was good enough for MAUI,
and for his communion chow he
Served up poi and long pig - Wowee! -
and it's good enough for me.

It was good enough for DAGON,
that conservative old pagan
He still votes for Ronald Reagan,
but he's good enough for me.

If the FORCE makes you a hater,
big and mean just like Darth Vader
You may get recalled by Nader,
but you're good enough for me.

If you've got the itchy squirmies,
you had better pray to HERMES
He will rid you of your germies,
which is good enough for me.*


If you want to save your soul,
ac-cording to the priests of MOLOCH
You must sacrifice a Polack,
which is good enough for him.*

Well, PAN's pipes got clogged last summer,
and it really was a bummer
Finally had to call a plumber,
but it's good enough for me.*

It was good for DIONYSUS,
till his temple faced a crisis
From increasing tavern prices,
which was not so good for him!

If you think RELIGION'S awful,
and you've really had your craw full
Just make sure your acts are lawful,
or they'll all be after thee.

The EPISCOPALS are saved,
in the Lamb's blood they are bathed
While I'm totally depraved,
but it's good enough for me.

NECRONOMICON's still leading,
all the others it's exceeding
But don`t move your lips while reading,
cause it isn't good for you!

Oh, the ancient goddess NERTHUS from herself,
the earth, did birth us
Were her sins so bad they're worth us?
Still, she's good enough for me

For we are the knights of JEDI,
and in us the Force is ready
Grab your sabers, throw confetti,
for you're good enough for me.

We will sing to YAMA-DHARMA,
at our revels on the farm-a
Though it messes up our karma,
it's still good enough for me.

Well, I prayed to mighty ISIS,
to relieve romantic crisis
Now I've got satyr-i-isis,
which is good enough for me.*

There's the blacksmith god, HEPHAESTUS,
who's ahead of all the rest o'us
Cause his balls are pure asbestos,
which is hot enough for me.

It was good for THOR and ODIN,
grab an axe and get your woad on
Grab some mead and get a load on,
and it's good enough for me.

If your rising sign is Aries,
you'll be taken by the FAIRIES
Meet the Buddha in Benares,
where he'll hit you with a pie.

There will be a lot of lovin',
when we're gathered in our COVEN
Quit your pushin' and your shovin',
so there's room enough for me.

There are followers of CONAN,
and their swords they're always honin'
They're all followers of Onan,
but they're good enough for me.

It's the opera written for us,
we will all join in the chorus
It's the opera about BORIS,
which is GUDENOV for me.

Just like CARLOS CASTANEDA,
if to forces strange you cater
They will get you sooner or later,
and it's good enough for me.

There are some who practice SHINTO,
in the back seat of a Pinto
While tuned in to Doc Demento,
but they're good enough for me.*

We will read from the KABBALA,
in a whisper and a holler
It won't get us to Valhalla,
but it's good enough for me.

If thou'rt PENNSYLVANIA AMISH,
thou'rt permitted to play Squamish
While invoking great GILGAMESH,
which is good enough for thee.*


If you never pray to LOKI,
and say THOR's a little hokey
Then you'll wind up in the pokey,
`cause they're good enough for me.*

I will be a modern DRUID,
I will drink transmission fluid
I'll do anything that you would,
`cause it's good enough for me.*

We will sacrifice to SHIVA,
thirty chickens and a beaver
If you are a true believer,
then it's good enough for you.*

Oh, this verse is for ERIS,
who is the Goddess of Chaos
Which is why it doesn't rhyme or scan,
but it's good enough for me.*

You can venerate BUBASTES,
if you get a little practice
If you need help you can ask us,
and it's good enough for me.

If you want an atom bo-omb,
you can always pray to CROM
Better hide it from your Mom,
but it's good enough for me.*

Well, I programmed my computer
to be just as wise as BUDDHA
Day by day it's getting lewder,
which is good enough for me.*

Some folks worship baby JESUS,
every Sunday on their kneeses
Then they does just what they pleases,
for the rest of every week.*

Better pray a little louder,
to the god who makes gunpowder
STYPHON detonates a doubter,
and that's good enough for me.*

In the middle of creation,
AZATHOTH makes ululation
He's a gross abomination,
but he's good enough for me.*

The malign ILLUMINATI
watch you while you're on the potty;
Though their plots are slightly dotty,
they're still good enough 4 me*

Oh, the REVEREND JERRY FALWELL
doesn't seem to be at all well
For he doesn't use his call well -
he's not good enough for me.

You will get a psychic booster
if you follow ZARATHUSTRA
It might not be what you're used ter,
but it's good enough for me.

It was good enough for ODIN,
though that croaking was forebodin',
Till at last the Giants rode in,
but it's good enough for me.

SCIENTOLOGY professes to
clean up my psychic messes
And a remedy that's less
is just not good enough for me.

If you follow ZOROASTER
and you seek a Perfect Master
You will get to heaven faster,
and it's good enough for me.

APEP shall return as my god,
crocodilian green bipod,
He was good enough for Izod,
and he's good enough for me!

Well, the CHRISTIANS are a-hummin,
cause they say their God is comin',
Our God's come now two times runnin',
and the Goddess at least three!

Let's sing praise to QUETZALCOATL,
find a virgin we can throttle,
Put her heart into a bottle,
and it's good enough for me!

I thought I saw QUETZALCOATL,
in the bottom of my bottle,
It was just an axolotl,
but it's good enough for me.

Be the GREAT SPIRIT's devotee,
on the mesa smoke peyote,
Till you think you're a coyote,
and you're good enough for me.

AZATHOTH is in his Chaos,
and that really should dismay us,
But if he came here, he'd slay us,
so that's good enough for me!

Oh, dey call me TORQUEMADA;
I burn Lutherans in Granada,
It's all for da Holy Fadda,
and it's good enough for me.

Let us worship like EGYPTIANS,
pyramids to put our crypts in,
Fill the subways with inscriptions,
and it's good enough for me.

We will reverence TUONI,
cause we know he's not a phony,
Being dead is rather homey,
and it's good enough for me.

Now we all should reverence TYR,
who the Fenris Wolf did fear,
Though limp-wristed, he's not queer,
and he's good enough for me.

We'll sing praises to APOLLO,
where the sun-god leads we'll follow,
Though his head's a little hollow,
he's still good enough for me.

Don't neglect that shrine of ZEUS's,
though he's lost his vital juices,
Still the old boy has his uses,
and he's good enough for me.

Let us worship chaste DIANA,
she's been chaste since she began-a,
Chased from Rome to Texarkana,
and she's good enough for me.

We will reverence to RA,
cause we don't have to go fa,
We just stand there and say A-ah,
and it's good enough for me.

Here is one thing that I do know -
Zeus's favorite is JUNO,
Cuase she's awfully good at - you know,
and she's good enough for me.

Mjandirism's not forgotten;
we will toast to Horliadon;
Keep it up until we're sodden,
which is good enough for me.

KALI's vengeance is a brewing,
against all the evil-doing,
It was she shot J. R. Ewing,
and that's good enough for me.

We will jump the old bonfire,
though the flames are soaring higher;
If you miss you join the pyre,
and that's good enough for me.

We will raise our cups to BRAGGI,
and we'll drink until we're groggy,
And the pretzels all get soggy,
but it's good enough for me.

If you pray to old URANUS,
then your crime is truly heinous;
You can stick it in your songbook,
cause it's good enough for me.

We will praise the god TOUTATIS,
when the pagan frenzy's got us;
Though it strains the epiglottis,
still it's good enough for me.

Let us go and worship MIN,
though they tell us it's a sin;
New morality is in,
and it's good enough for me.

We will prase HUEHUETEOTL,
sit around and chew peyotl,
Till we're absolutely totalled,
which is good enough for me.

We will all bow down to ALLAH,
for he gave his loyal follow-
Ers the mighty petro-dollar,
which is good enough for me.

We will go and worship BUDDHA,
of the gods there are none cuter;
Comes in silver, brass,
and pewter, which is choice enough for me.

We will visit the INFERNO,
just to watch those sinners burn-o,
Dante must have been on Sterno,
but he's good enough for me.*

We will even worship YODA,
though he's small as an iota;
He fulfills his Jedi quota,
which is good enough for me.

We will gather on the LAMMAS,
it is writ in Nostradamus;
Then we'll take off our pajamas,
which is good enough for me.

We will worship ZARATHUSTRA,
we will worship like we use'ta;
I'm a Zarathustra boosta,
cause he's good enough for me.

We'll pay homage to GODZILLA;
in the Oriental thriller,
He did in the big gorilla,
and he's good enough for me.

Oh, at Troy no one was meaner
than the goddess, great ATHENA;
Mopped them up with Ajax cleaner,
which is good enough for me.

Oh, the Welsh gods you announce 'em,
ask me my gods to renounce 'em,
But your gods, I can't pronounce 'em -
they're not good enough for me.

We will ask a boon of MIMIR,
as the northern lights they glimmer;
I would not mind being slimmer,
which is good enough for me.

We went off to worship VENUS,
and by gosh, you should have seen us;
Now the clinic has to screen us,
which is good enough for me.

We will read the KAMA SUTRA;
the positions are quite outra,
But as long as you're not neutra,
then it's good enough for me.

When I first became a PAGAN,
it was daring and outragin';
Now my circle's started agin',
but it's good enough for me.

PORCELAIN RALPH'S the Navy's patron,
accepts anything you put in;
Comforts sailors on the ocean,
and he's good enough for me.


Your Moderator and all-round friend/servant,
<+]::-{(} ("Cyberpope")
Internet: gapope@vcn.bc.ca
1)If you don't like a joke, post 2-3 examples of what you DO like!
B)If you DO like a joke, say thank-you with 2-3 jokes of your own! :)

(AKA the Bishop of ROM!)

... nfx v3.1                                                                 

--- EzyQwk V2.01b005 00F90260
 * Origin: Milky Way, Langley, BC [604] 532-4367 (1:153/307)