Text 9810, 78 rader
Skriven 2006-12-30 22:33:00 av MICHAEL LOO (1:123/140)
Ärende: Melbourne 790
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Instead, for our first dinner we toured about the shopping
areas a bit, ending up at Sheherazade restaurant on Acland
St. This, despite its exotic name, is a Jewish (but not
Kosher) restaurant, and despite its big banner out front
saying BYO, is fully licensed. I'd seen the BYO and made
tracks for the Safeway, where I picked up a chilled Penfolds
Koonunga Chardonnay 05, a good schnitzel wine (the reviews
posted out front - several of them - claim that it serves
the best schnitzel in Melbourne, and as I felt I'd been
cheated out of a good schnitzel at lunch, that's what I
wanted). Back in there, where the proprietor, a grumpy old
guy, gave us the absolute worst table in the house, directly
in the path to the kitchen. I had a feeling we were about to
experience something fun, so I didn't feel like moving or
even saying anything. The back part of the restaurant, by
the way, was empty at the time, and never did it lack for
table space.

A dish of sweet-sour cabbage and a basket of decent rye
bread came out reasonably promptly, served by a cute
brunette with an American accent. I ordered the Wiener
schnitzel, Carol the chicken schnitzel. We drank our wine
($5 corkage) and waited. Much noise, dishes returned to the
kitchen, interesting behind the scene dramas. There were two
waitresses working the house, ours, who got yelled at
constantly by the owner, and a sullen-looking blonde who
never got yelled at but instead joined in the yelling - I
surmised (correctly, as it turns out) that she was the
owner's daughter.

I noticed that some of the dishes looked pretty good -
the stuffed cabbage, for example; others did not, such as a
puny serving of brisket aside a huge mound of potatoes.

An odd couple came in and were seated at a nice four-top.
She (80 if a day, dressed like a trollop, flaming red
hair) ordered borscht; he (down and out, maybe 60, maybe
her son or boyfriend) ordered yogurt, not on the menu. This
was pointed out to him, but he noted something or another
on the menu that was served with yogurt, so of course they
had to have yogurt, didn't they. Much confusion from their
waitress (ours), but eventually the yogurt did appear.
Not so the borscht, which was served to someone else, but
which eventually did arrive. That's all these two ordered.

Other schnitzels came out, including to people I was sure
had arrived after we did. Two guys were seated at another
four-top. They ordered schnitzels, and those came out
quickly, served by the other waitress. Whereupon there was
an outburst in the kitchen, with our waitress coming out
to tell us (almost in tears) that the owner's daughter had
stolen our order and served it to her table, and further
that they were out of veal schnitzels and had only chicken
left. We paused for more than a few beats. Whereupon the
owner came out and said, of course they still had veal
schnitzels. Whereupon we heard angry voices in the kitchen
and the bam-bam-bam of a schnitzel being beaten within an
inch of its life, the cook clearly imagining that it was
either the owner or his daughter or our less assertive and
in fact not-suited-for-the-job waitress. Or all three.

When they eventually did come, the schnitzels were pretty
good, although mine had in fact been pounded TOO thin.
Carol's chicken one, I thought, was excellent. On the side
- an odd assortment of things, potatoes, corn, and something
green, perhaps carrots: I don't remember - it looked like
elementary school cafeteria food. As we were well beyond
the bottle of wine, we opted to reward incompetence by
having another bottle of that Hardy fizz. We were actually
pretty decently fed for not all that much money, and with
two bottles of wine, we were kind of mellow and not that
upset by anything. We chatted briefly with the waitress,
who promised us she would quit that night and go back to
school, paid the bill, and walked rather unsteadily home.

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