Text 19920, 136 rader
Skriven 2008-08-21 11:48:00 av Lee Lofaso (3:800/432.0)
Ärende: Dubya vs The Creep
==========================
Hello Everybody,

And now for the Heavyweight Boxing Championship of the World -

In the right corner - George "Dubya" Bush

In the left corner - Vladimir "The Creep" Putin

                        -=DING!=-

                      begin round one

Vladimir "The Creep" lands a hard right to the underbelly of Georgia,
taking out two large chunks of flesh!

George "Dubya" Bush lands an uppercut to the jaw of Poland, threatening
to knock off the head of a bear!

"The Creep" Putin trashtalks "Dubya", peeved at the blow received.

Not backing off, "Dubya" crashes both fists in a rabbit punch
to Iran, knocking the living daylights out of everything that moves!

Fearless of nothing, "The Creep" moves into the Czech Republic and
makes mincepeat pie for dessert.  Still hungry for more, "The Creep"
gets seconds by taking in Slovakia as well.

Reeling from the double blows, "Dubya" is saved by the bell.

                        -=DING!=-

                      end round one

The trainer sets "Dubya" on his stool and patches him up.  "You have
him right where you want him, George.  Just stand up and never stand
down. Remember, you have everything you need to take out The Creep."

The trainer in the other corner sets "The Creep" on his stool and
patches him up.  "You have him on the ropes where he can't get up.
Keep pounding away and Dubya will be sure to fall. Remember, you
have everything you need to take him out."

                        -=DING!=-

                     begin round two

Staggering back into the ring, "Dubya" gets walloped by "The Creep" by
surprise, losing Bulgaria, Romania, and Austria. Not knowing what to do,
"Dubya" looks like a deer caught in the headlights.  "The Creep" keeps
pounding away, taking Lithuania, Latvia and Estonia.  Dancing around in
circles, "The Creep" starts celebrating by throwing kisses to the crowd.
The end is near!  The end is near!  Finally coming to his senses,
"Dubya" suddenly realizes there is a dancing bear in the ring, and
quickly runs away to his corner, pouting to his trainer and clasping his
hands together in hopes of being saved. His prayer is answered when the
bell tolls.

                        -=DING!=-

                      end round two

"Listen up, George.  You're in big trouble.  But all is not lost.
You still have The Button.  All you have to do is press The Button
and victory will be yours!"

"Dubya" looks into the soul of his trainer and likes what he sees.
"Yes!  Yes!  Yes!  Victory will be mine!  Mine alone! I AM THE DECIDER!"

The other trainer, suspecting a sneaky trick by "Dubya", tells "The
Creep" to quit wasting time and end the contest by using the one device
that nobody can withstand - The Red Button.  "Da!  Da!  Da!  Give me The
Red Button and I will take out Dubya and the whole wide world!  Victory
will be mine!  Mine!  All mine!  Mother Russia and the entire world will
know of my victory and celebrate my name forever!"

                        -=DING!=-

                     begin round three

"Dubya" steps into the ring, a smirk on his face, glinting a smile for
all to see.

"The Creep" steps into the ring, his dour look showing all signs of
being all business, the crowd sensing something big about to happen.

"Dubya" reaches into his shorts and pulls out The Button.  Smirking to
the crowd, "Dubya" raises The Button and walks around the ring for all
to see.  "Bring it on!  Bring it on!"  Laughing and cackling, "Dubya"
knows victory is his!

"The Creep" is clearly amused, a smile stretching across his face,
as "Dubya" walks around in circles showing The Button to the crowd.
Taking out his own Red Button, "The Creep" holds it high above his
head, waiting for "Dubya" to notice.  The crowd starts pointing to
the center of the ring.  "Dubya" starts sensing that something is
not quite right.  The crowd continues to point, and "Dubya" finally
turns around, almost collapsing from fright as he sees "The Creep"
holding a Red Button.

Desperately trying to hold on to his own Button, "Dubya" glasps it
with both hands.  Trembling in fright, "Dubya" just stands there,
trying to regain his composure.

"You see what I've got.  The Red Button.  Nothing you have is more
powerful than The Red Button.  Nothing anybody has is more powerful
than The Red Button.  Give it up, Dubya.  You have lost!"

Having fully regained his composure, with the swagger of a cowboy
"Dubya" replies to "The Creep" -

"Yeah?  You think so?  Make my day!"

The ring announcer tries frantically to ring the bell, but it does
not sound.  No matter how many mallets he tries, the ring announcer
cannot get the bell to ring.

The two adversaries glare at each other for a full five minutes,
each holding his own Button with a finger about to strike.

The crowd is silent to the point where no one can hear the sound
of a pin drop.

And then it happens.

A cat's meow.

Nobody knows who hit which button first, but the entire world was
instantly transformed into a giant ashtray.

--Lee


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