Text 1023, 98 rader
Skriven 2005-02-01 09:35:34 av Greg Sears (1:153/307)
     Kommentar till en text av George Pope
Ärende: Re: Dear Manabby
========================
Funny on 30-Jan-2005 10:25

 -=[George Pope wrote IN a message to ALL]=-

 GP> I would be most grateful for any advice anyone could give on this
   > matter of deep concern to me.
   > For sometime now I've suspected that my wife may be having an affair.
   > You know t he sort of thing. The phone rings, I answer, someone hangs
   > up.

  G-day George Pope, kick the sheila's ass out the door Mate!! '-)


> OBJoke: for our Moderator and all-round friend/servant

Many babies are descended from a long line...which began on a date.

  A baby is a person who must have bottle or bust.

  A baby stroller is last year's fun on wheels.

  A straight line is the shortest distance between a baby and
anything breakable.

  Two's company...three's the result.

  Indigestion is what you get when a square meal doesn't fit in a
round stomach.

  It's useless crying over spilled milk, unless it's condensed.

  Why would Swiss chess have the holes when it's Limburger that
needs the ventilation?

  A cheese cake is something that turns to pound cake when you eat it.

  Forget the gas guzzler: The most expensive vehicle to operate,
by the mile is the shopping cart.

  Ever notice how many people eat with their fingers and talk with
their fork?

  April 15th is the only day when blanks can kill.

  According to the government, a taxpayer is someone who has what it
takes.

  The IRS is a place that says, "Watch your step" going in, and
"Watch your language" going out.

  The ideal situation, of course, is for the government to live
within its means and without yours.

  The IRS is a pain in the neck, and some people have an even
lower opinion of them.

  People who save their money for a rainy day end up getting
soaked by the government.

  Taxation is a bizarre system in which you spend money, save
receipts, and somehow come out ahead.

  An ulcer is:
    -a pain in the neck that dropped.
    -something you get not from what you eat but from what's
      eating you.
    -something that comes from big money...either earning it

      or owing it.
  The cheapest way to have your family tree traced is to run for a
public office.

Question: Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
Answer: The chicken, of course. God couldn't lay an egg.


> OBJoke: for Mr. <+]::-{(} ("Cyberpope")

  A popular preacher was admonishing a class of divinity students
on the importance of making their facial expressions harmonize with
their speech in delivering sermons.
  "When you speak of heaven," he said, "let your face light up and
be irradiated with a heavenly gleam. Let your eyes shine with reflected
glory. And when you speak of h*ll...well, then your everyday face will
do."



    .------------.
   / I C E-van|[0]\
   |  _       |_ice\ Cheers,
~ ~=-(@)------(@)-=/ I C E-man
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