Text 1532, 164 rader
Skriven 2005-04-04 11:17:02 av George Pope (1:153/307.11)
     Kommentar till en text av Greg Sears
Ärende: Good stories
====================
On (04 Apr 05) Greg Sears wrote to GEORGE POPE...
 GS> GP>Mostly, cuz even if you're "alive" in some other parallel universe
 GS> or
 GS>   >existence, you're not allowed to argue about anything going on in
 GS> THIS
 GS>   >existence/universe!
 GS>
 GS> OK, now your not dead, just going to another parallel place!! Hummmmm

But if you look at me in THIS one, I *LOOK* like I'm dead!

 GS> Wrong there CyberPope....there was a joker just the other day was at
 GS>                          my door saying "Life is real fair for you",
 GS>                          "this little tool will make your life real
 GS>                          easy and fair" The cost is only three pay-
 GS>                          ments of $1,000.00","but wait theres more"
 GS>
 GS>                          I think he was trying to sell me something
 GS> eh!!

And for how many years would you be in debt if your flattie had answered
the door instead?

SALES1:

                      TIRED OF FOLLOWING THE RULES!

 Are you sick of your dead-end job, working for an incompentent boss?
 You can't seem to find the demented babe of your dreams, much less
 getting a woman to even talk to you?  Tired of always behaving because
 you're scared getting caught?

       Does the a life of CRIME, DRUGS, and SEX sound good to you!

            LUCIFER IS NOW ACCEPTING APPLICATIONS FOR ENTRY
                          LEVEL MINIONS!!!

                        The DEVIL wants YOU!

 Beelzebub Enterprises (tm) is offering for the paltry price of your soul
 and all eternity to pay, all the materials and training you will need
 for your career in chaos management.  No classes to attend!  No
 studying!   Cheating 101 is the very first course!  Remember, we're
 talking the Devil here.

       DONE AT YOUR CONVENIENCE! At home, ward, or cell block!

Choose from this list of new and exciting specialities!

*  How to recognize and control the mentally unbalanced
  - Project your voice into their heads, or make it come from their dog!
  - Endless hours of fun!

* Pestilence and Famine (The History, Preconditions and Management)
  - With most of the world breeeding with no thought of tomorrow, this
    field is projected to be one the "hottest" for rapid advancement in
    evil doings.
  ~ Special incentives for those with Bio-genetic engineering experince for
    developing unstoppable hordes of chemically resistance insects, fungi,
    and other yucky wiggly things.

* Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap!  Lawyer Special!
   - Ambulance chasing, foreclosures, divorce meddling, and the fine
     art of fact twisting.  WE TAKE CARE OF OUR OWN!!

* Politics
   - Proven election strategies, slogans, ads, dirty tricks, mudslinging
   - Public Office; maximizing profits!
   - Chaos through legislature!
   - Bribery; how to spot a Sting.
   - Learn how to talk for hours without saying a THING!
   - Seducing your pages (either sex!)
   - Learn to do nothing but promote big business while calling it
     something completely different!
   - Now you too can author demonic laws just Sen. Exon!!!

* WAR
   - Get real job satisfaction here.  The secret of stirring up the masses.
   - How to start & prolong.  Play both sides against the middle!
   - Weapons; (and you thought after the bomb, why bother)
      post graduate programs in chemical and bio/genetic weapon research!
      (Developer of Rhino Ammo(tm) a RECENT GRAD!  Not a dry eye in
      Hell the day it was announced.)

* Entertainent
   - Be a sleazy producer or casting director!  Couch techniques!
   - Get your own national radio and TV show with total control of format
     and content!  Spread lies and discontent!
   - Pornography; all the ins & outs  *[babes not included]
   - Be an agent!  Learn the art of 'empty promises', badgering,
     pestering, lunches and late night tele-hype.
   - How to setup a high profit phone sex scam

* Foreign Regimes
   - Detention & Interrogation; techniques and all styles of Terrorism
   - Coups, Juntas and Election rigging
   - Foreign Aid and Swiss banking
   - Brain washing, drying and pressing
   - Food programs: diverting and how launder to proceeds!


SALES2:


Sven was going for his morning walk one day when he walked past Ole's
house and saw a sign that said "Boat For Sale."  This confused Sven
because he knew that Ole didn't own a boat, so he finally decided to go
in and ask Ole about it.  "Hey Ole," said Sven, "I noticed da sign in
your yard dat says 'Boat For Sale,' but ya don't even have a boat.  All
ya have is your old John Deere tractor and combine."  Ole replied "Yup,
and they're boat for sale."


        When we lived there, my wife and I used to walk the beach a lot. One
summer we noticed a girl who was at the beach pretty much every day. She
wasn't unusual, nor was the travel bag she carried, except for one
thing; she would approach people who were sitting on the beach, glance
around furtively, then speak to them.

        Generally the people would respond negatively and she would wander off,
but occasionally someone would nod and there would be a quick exchange
of money for something she carried in her bag. My wife and I assumed she
was selling drugs and debated calling the cops, but we didn't know for
sure so we just continued to watch her.

        After a couple of weeks my wife said, "Honey, have you ever noticed
that she only goes up to people with boom boxes and other electronic
devices?"

        I hadn't, and I said so.

        Then she said, "Tomorrow I want you to get a towel and our big radio
and go lay out on the beach. Then we can find out what she's really doing."

         Well, the plan went off without a hitch and my wife was almost hopping
up and down with anticipation when she saw the girl talk to me and then
leave.

        I walked up the beach and met her at the road. "

        Well? Is she selling drugs?" she asked, excitement pouring out with her
voice.

        "No, she's not." I said, enjoying this probably more than I should
have.

        "Well? What is it, then? What does she do?" my wife fairly shrieked.

        I smirked and said, "She sells 'C' cells by the sea shore." by Clynch V


Your Moderator and all-round friend/servant,
<+]::-{(} ("Cyberpope")
Internet: gapope@vcn.bc.ca
1)If you don't like a joke, post 2-3 examples of what you DO like!
B)If you DO like a joke, say thank-you with 2-3 jokes of your own! :)
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(I am the Bishop of ROM!)


--- PPoint 1.76
 * Origin: Cyberpope pointing via the Milky Way! (1:153/307.11)