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Text 2464, 80 rader
Skriven 2005-09-05 08:07:46 av Greg Sears (3:633/104)
     Kommentar till en text av Greg Sears
Ärende: F unny
==============
RESOLUTIONS COULD TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE
By Melvin Durai

Are you dissatisfied with your life?  Do you sometimes feel like a
failure?  Do you find yourself envying other people, even some of the
guests on Jerry Springer?

Consider yourself lucky, because you're about to get a great opportunity
to change your life.  No, I'm not talking about those boring, old New
Year's resolutions.  I'm talking about something even bigger:  New
Millennium's resolutions.

Yes, this is truly a great time to be alive.  Think about it.  It's been
a thousand years since anyone had the opportunity to make New
Millennium's resolutions.  Back in the year 1000, scores of people
improved their lives.  In fact, that was the turning point in the
amazing career of U.S. Sen. Strom Thurmond.  Just ask him.  He may
remember.

It's important for you to make some extraordinary resolutions.  Decades
from now, when your grandchildren ask about your New Millennium's
resolutions, what are you going to say?  "I resolved to floss my teeth"
just won't cut it, especially if your teeth are ancient history.
Neither will "I resolved to campaign for Al Gore."  Your grandchildren
will probably say, "Al who?"

You need to impress your descendants by saying something like, "I
resolved to find a solution to world hunger," or "I resolved to discover
a cure for cancer," or "I resolved to learn how to parallel park."

Well, perhaps those goals are too lofty, but you get my point.  You've
got to aim high.  You've got a chance to really change your life for the
better.  No one else can do it for you, not even your therapist.

Here are some areas you may want to focus on:

-- Education:  A few years of college could make a huge difference in
your life, even if you graduate without finding a mate.  A college
degree could be your ticket to that dream job.  What do you have to
lose, besides a chunk of money?

-- Religion:  Just ask anybody who's religious and they'll tell you how
important this is to their welfare.  Of course, you have to make sure
you pick the right religion.  Because if you don't, you could find
yourself lying in bed, wearing Nikes and waiting for the next comet.

-- Exercise:  Regular exercise can do wonders for your health and
vitality.  Even 20 minutes a day would benefit you.  It's like buying
health insurance, without having to deal with an HMO.  Just remember:
you can get in shape without joining a health club, buying expensive
equipment or going to prison.

-- Relationships:  It's important to make sure your relationships with
your family and friends are stronger than your relationship with your
television.  No matter how much you love your favorite actors or sports
stars, they will never love you back.  They will never lend you money,
visit you in the hospital or put up with your annoying dandruff
problem.  No, I'm not speaking from personal experience.

Remember:  small achievements can add up to something really
significant.  Today, you could be dating a high school teacher and, a
few years later, you could be dating the president.  Then you could
write a tell-all book and become filthy rich.  Yes, the American dream
is still alive.

Whatever you do, don't blow this opportunity.  Unless we manage to clone
ourselves, none of us will ever see another New Millennium.

Not even Strom Thurmond.

Cheers,
       __o          o__      o__      o__      o__     There's one
     _ \<,_        _.>/ _   _.>/ _   _.>/ _   _.>/ _   in every
    (@)/ (@)      (@) \(@) (@) \(@) (@) \(@) (@) \(@)  crowd....
...I C E-man.

... Here's some fun:  Walk into an antique shop and say, "What's new?!?"

--- EzyBlueWave V2.01b006 00F90257
 * Origin: Afraid of the competition? We ARE the Competition! (3:633/104)