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Möte FUNNY, 4886 texter
 lista första sista föregående nästa
Text 2674, 58 rader
Skriven 2005-09-28 01:01:28 av Greg Sears (3:633/104)
     Kommentar till en text av George Pope
Ärende: F unny
==============
  Abraham Lincoln was once accused, during a debate, of being two-faced.
  "I leave it to you, my audience," he replied, "if I had two faces,
would I be wearing this one?"

--------------------------------------- then

  When Sarah Bernhardt, the celebrated French actress, had grown
old, she lived in an apartment high above the streets of Paris.

  One evening she was visited by an old admirer, who knocked at
her door all out of breath from the long climb.

  "Madame," he exclaimed, "why is it that you live so high up?"

  "Dear friend," replied the actress, "it is the only way I can
still make the hearts of men beat faster."

--------------------------------------- after

  "How much are the cigars?" asked a customer at the tobacco shop.
  "Two for a quarter," said the girl behind the counter.
  "All right," said the man. "I'll take one."
  "That'll be fifteen cents," replied the clerk.
  The customer paid for the cigar and left. A man who overheard
the transaction came up to the counter.
  "Here's a dime," he said. "I'll take the other one."

--------------------------------------- finally

I like the story about the soldiers who were being trained to
parachute. After receiving instructions on how to operate their
chutes, they were given one last instruction:

"Now, in the one in a million case,"said his sergeant,"that main
parachute shouldn't open, just bear in mind, you have a backup
parachute, and pull the hook on the right side.  It will open
gradually.  Relax when you hit the ground.  There will be no pain.
There will be a station wagon there to take you back to barracks."

But one soldier still wasn't convinced.  However,the sergeant got him
to the door and pushed him out gently.  Our hero yanked the cord, and
nothing happened.  Then he yanked the reserve hook and looked up, but
again nothing happened.  As he was plummeting down with lightning
speed to the ground, the soldier said to himself, "Now I'll bet you
that station wagon won't even be there."



    .------------.
   / I C E-van|[0]\
   |  _       |_ice\ Cheers,
~ ~=-(@)------(@)-=/ I C E-man
##############################

... Greg says .... Abandon all hope, ye who press <ÄÄÙ here þ

--- EzyBlueWave V2.01b006 00F90257
 * Origin: Afraid of the competition? We ARE the Competition! (3:633/104)