Text 328, 117 rader
Skriven 2004-10-07 06:59:24 av Greg Sears (1:153/307)
     Kommentar till en text av George Pope
Ärende: Re: New George's Joker_Poll..
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Funny

 -=[05-Oct-2004 06:25, George Pope it is a cloudy day in Christchurch]=-

 GS>              The Top 16 Ways to Annoy a Supermodel
 GS>  14> Every week, adjust her scale to add an additional pound
 GS>      or two (Wait -- that's the way to *kill* a supermodel).

 GP> It's simpler than that, especially if you can't get access to her
 GP> scale, just tell her that the extra weight she's put on isn't "THAT
 GP> noticeable"!

  G-day George Pope, good try Mate!

                     You would like to hide her pregnancy eh! ;-)

 GP> More from those sweethearts of insubstantiationality:

THE INVISIBLE FENCE BRA


From the folks who make the Invisible Fence for cats
and dogs, now comes the Invisible Fence Bra for your
teenage daughter!

Using advanced electromagnetic technology, the
Invisible Fence Bra creates a safety zone around
Daddy's Little Angel.

If a horny young bastard has decided to skip the
Church social and head right to the Devil's
Playground, your daughter will be safe and secure
with this bra. Attempting to remove it without keying
in the secret combination results in a "slight
correction" to the horny young bastard.

Voltage levels are set in ten ascending doses
including: "Don't Go There, Boyfriend", "Freddy'll
Lose His Fingers", "Rushin' Hands, Electrocuted
Fingers", "Char Your Fingers To The Bone", and, the
ultimate level, "Any Last Words Before We Throw The
Switch?"

Ladies, do *you* have a boss that likes to reach over
your shoulder for a pencil on your desk? The Invisible
Fence Bra has an accessory which clips underneath your
chair. When the boss's hand dips into the "No Fly
Zone", the magnetic field of the bra triggers the
mechanical arm of the accessory we like to call:
"Balls Through The Wall." Your boss can then apply for
a role on "The Sopranos."

Don't delay! Operators are standing by now.


> OBJoke: for our Moderator and all-round friend/servant

The American Way ?

There was an Englishman, an Irishman and an American caught in a storm
in the country.  They spied a big old house just off the road, to
which they ran for shelter.  To their calls and knocks came no answer;
the house seemed deserted, and it was rather spooky as well...
Suddenly the door swung open of its own accord, the hinges squeaking
eerily. Still, no one was to be seen.

Plucking up his courage, the Englishman crept into the hallway, and
there, on a small table, lay a 10 dollar note.  As he reached out a
greedy hand to take the money, a sepulchral voice rang out, "I'm the
ghost of Abel Mabel, that 10 dollar note must stay on the table!"

With a shriek of terror, the Englishman dashed out of the house, past
his two companions and into the storm.  The Scotsman looked at the
American, shrugged, and crept cautiously into the hallway.  He also
saw the 10 dollar note and stretched out a hand to steal it.  And
again, that awful, disembodied voice rang out, "I'm the ghost of Abel
Mabel, that 10 dollar note must stay on the table!"

The Irishman, his nerve shattered, dashed out of the house, yelling
with fright, and into the storm.

The American looked after him, squared his shoulders, and marched into
the hallway.  There lay the 10 dollar note, and the American also
could not resist the temptation.  As his hand stretched towards the
note, the strange voice rang out for a third time, "I'm the ghost of
Abel Mabel, that 10 dollar note must stay on the table!"

To which the American replied, "I'm the descendent of Davy Crockett -
that $10 dollar note belongs in my pocket!"


> OBJoke: for Mr. <+]::-{(} ("Cyberpope")

The "Wedding"

A short while later, Stacy's grandma overheard the 5-year-old playing
"Wedding".

It was all quite adorable until she got to the part of the ceremony
where the wedding vows were spoken...

The wedding vows that Stacy had selected went something like this:
"You have the right to remain silent, anything you say may be held
against you, you have the right to have an attorney present. You may
kiss the bride."


    .------------.
   / I C E-van|[0]\
   |  _       |_ice\ Cheers,
~ ~=-(@)------(@)-=/ I C E-man
##############################

... George... This tag is TRUE -->     <-- That tag is FALSE

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