Text 3525, 101 rader
Skriven 2006-02-19 11:04:00 av George Pope (2424.funny)
   Kommentar till text 3519 av Kevin Taylor (670.funny)
Ärende: National Comdom Week (Feb
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KT> Fun condom facts in honor of National Condom Week (Feb. 13-17): Roman soldi
KT> were reputed to have worn condoms made from the muscle tissue of vanquished
KT> foes! (Stringy!)

So they fucked them to death?
(whence the expression, "now you're fucked!")

KT> Casanova used linen condoms (he called them "English riding coats") as a me
KT> of birth control!

And the way they worked is the women saw them, pissed themselves laughing, and
he was grossed out and lost his boner.

KT> In the 1940s and '50s, condoms made out of sheep's intestines (still availa
KT> today, by the way) were often washed, smeared with petroleum jelly and reus

And the claim is that they feel more "natural". . .
Well, not to us CITY dwellers they don't!

KT> A condom inflated like a balloon can get as big as 3 feet tall and a foot w
KT> before it bursts! It'll also hold almost four quarts of milk!

Who wasted 4 gallons of milk to figure this out?  & why not have saved $15 and
used WATER???

Some more condom funnies. . .


A young lad walks into the drug store.
Young Lad (YL) : Do you have any condoms?
Pharmacist (DR): Yes. Are you in High School?
(YL) : Yes I am, Why?
(DR) : Well, for High School students I sell the three pack for College
       students I sell the six-pack and for married persons I sell the
twelve
       pack.
(YL) : Why the different packs?
(DR) : Well for High School - Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.
       For College - Monday - Saturday.
       For Married persons - January, Febuary, March, ... December.

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           23 Famous Condom Slogans

1 cover your stump before you hump
2 before you attack her wrap your wacker
3 don't be silly, protect your willy
4 when in doubt shroud your spout
5 don't be a loner, cover your boner
6 you can't go wrong if you shield your dong
7 if your not going to stack it go home and wack it
8 if you think she's spunky, cover your monkey
9 if you slip between her thighs, besure to condomize
10 it will be sweeter if you wrap your peter
11 she won't get sick if you cover your dick
12 if you go into heat package your meat
13 while you're undressing venus, dress up your penis
14 when you take off her pants & blouse, suit up your trouser mouse
15 especially in december gift wrap your member
16 never, never deck her with an unwrapped pecker
17 don't be a frod, vulconize your tod
18 the right selection protext your erections
19 wrap it in foil before checking her oil
20 a crank with armor will never harm her
21 no glove, no love
22 before you bang her, engulf your whanger
23 encase your porker before you dork her

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Hong Kong has recently seen the introduction of a condom called "Mr Condom",
which has brightly covered packaging and which is advertised on the
underground railway service.  This made me realise that there is an
opportunity here for a new form of advertising, on the condom itself.  With
the increasing acceptance of the condom as an everyday item plus the close
attention given to each individual condom by the 'user' and 'participant',
there is definitely an area here that could be used for promoting companies,
etc.  Some possibilities:

A bank - expand with us
A marketing company - achieve better penetration with ...
An insurance company - we provide total protection
A roofing company - we also provide a cover that does not leak
Shell fuels - for the ultimate thrust
Lubricants - for smooth action
A smear campaign in an election - don't vote for that prick



Your Moderator and all-round friend/servant,
|<+]::-) ("Cyberpope")
Internet: gapope@vcn.bc.ca
1)If you don't like a joke, post 2-3 examples of what you DO like!
B)If you DO like a joke, say thank-you with 2-3 jokes of your own! :)

(AKA the Bishop of ROM!)

... nfx v3.1                                                                 
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