Text 3575, 157 rader
Skriven 2006-02-25 01:38:20 av Greg Sears (3:633/104)
     Kommentar till en text av George Pope
Ärende: Re: Rumours from Funny. . .
===================================
 Echo: FUNNY
 Date: 23-Feb-2006 11:55
 Read:" Rumours from Funny. . . "
 George Pope Put A SMILE on ALL's  DIAL #[:-)] 

 GP> Greg Sears popped by Vancouver on his way to Alberta one day, and met
   > up with George(your esteemed, I'm sure, moderator) for a beer(or 3)
   > at the airport pub -- while drinking they got into an argument about
   > who could have sex the most, so they decided to settle it with a bet
   > and some direct experimentation.

You neglected to mention that the promise of a shout was not carried out!
I had to do the shouting, while you were doing the arguing about sex?????

 GP> So they head off to a local whorehouse (George knows the area) and
   > each took a girl upstairs.

Yes, and why did you give me the 60 year old blonde? ;-)

 GP> Greg's in his room with a sweet tall blonde, banging away, after he
   > finishes he markes a big "|" on the headboard, as was the agreed-upon
   > method of keeping score, so Greg gets his second wind and shags her
   > again, then marks another tick on the wall beside the first one ( ||
   > )

 GP> Then he needs a wee nap (the man is aging quickly!), wakes up and
   > fucks the now-bored & slightly pissed off whore again, then marks a
   > third tick on the wall ( ||| ) then passes out. . .

 GP> In the morning George comes in to check the score, sees the
   > headboard, pulls out a $20 bill, tosses it onto Iceman's sleeping
   > chest, exclaming, "FUCK!! You may have beat me with a hundred &
   > eleven, but you only did so by TWO!!!"

I would have explained, but you left me there. . . . . . . ;-(

 George Pope, Have you read this one. . . .

Little five-year-old Martha had developed the habit of sucking her
thumb, and it drove her mother to distraction. Finally, her mother
warned, "Martha, if you don't stop sucking your thumb, your body will
swell up until you burst!"

The warning greatly discouraged the little girl. A few days later, she
and her mother were walking downtown when they approached a corner where
a hooker was displaying her wares. As they waited for the light to
change, the little girl stared at the hooker's huge breasts bulging from
her tiny halter top and her well-curved hips and buttocks. When her
mother started to cross the street, Martha pulled away, ran over to the
hooker, and said, "Lady, I know what you've been sucking."


> OBJoke: for our Moderator and all-round friend/servant

        Dictionary of Evaluation Comments

   Some of you might like to know what the supervisor is really saying
in all those glowing employee work performance evaluations s/he keeps
cranking out.

AVERAGE:
        Not too bright.
EXCEPTIONALLY WELL QUALIFIED:
        Has committed no major blunders to date.
ACTIVE SOCIALLY:
        Drinks heavily.
ZEALOUS ATTITUDE:
        Opinionated.
CHARACTER ABOVE REPROACH:
        Still one step ahead of the law.
UNLIMITED POTENTIAL:
        Will stick with us until retirement.
QUICK THINKING:
        Offers plausible excuses for errors.
TAKES PRIDE IN WORK:
        Conceited.
TAKES ADVANTAGE OF EVERY OPPERTUNITY TO PROGRESS:
        Buys drinks for superiors.
INDIFFERENT TO INSTRUCTION:
        Knows more than superiors.
STERN DISCIPLINARIAN:
        A real jerk.
TACTFUL IN DEALING WITH SUPERIORS:
        Knows when to keep mouth shut.
APPROACHES DIFFICULT PROBLEMS WITH LOGIC:
        Finds someone else to do the job.
A KEEN ANALYST:
        Thoroughly confused.
NOT A DESK PERSON:
        Did not go to college.
EXPRESSES SELF WELL:
        Can string two sentences together.
SPENDS EXTRA HOURS ON THE JOB:
        Miserable home life.
CONSCIENTIOUS AND CAREFUL:
        Scared.
METICULOUS IN ATTENTION TO DETAIL:
        A nitpicker.
DEMONSTRATES QUALITIES OF LEADERSHIP:
        Has a loud voice.
JUDGEMENT IS USUALLY SOUND:
        Lucky.
MAINTAINS PROFESSIONAL ATTITUDE:
        A snob.
KEEN SENSE OF HUMOR:
        Knows lots of dirty jokes.
STRONG ADHERENCE TO PRINCIPLES:
        Stubborn.
GETS ALONG EXTREMELY WELL WITH SUPERIORS AND SUBORDINATES ALIKE:
        A coward.
SLIGHTLY BELOW AVERAGE:
        Stupid.
OF GREAT VALUE TO THE ORGANIZATION:
        Turns in work on time.
IS UNUSUALLY LOYAL:
        Wanted by no-one else.
ALERT TO COMPANY DEVELOPMENTS:
        An office gossip.
REQUIRES WORK-VALUE ATTITUDINAL READJUSTMENT:
        Lazy and hard-headed.
HARD WORKER:
        Usually does it the hard way.
ENJOYS JOB:
        Needs more to do.
HAPPY:
        Paid too much.
WELL ORGANIZED:
        Does too much busywork.
COMPETENT:
        Is still able to get work done if supervisor helps.
CONSULTS WITH SUPERVISOR OFTEN:
        Pain in the ass.
WILL GO FAR:
        Relative of management.
SHOULD GO FAR:
        Please.
USES TIME EFFECTIVELY:
        Clock watcher.
VERY CREATIVE:
        Finds 22 reasons to do anything except original work.
USES RESOURSES WELL:
        Delagates everything.
DESERVES PROMOTION:
        Create new title to make him/her feel appreciated.


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... HEY!!! Support bacteria -- they are the only culture some people have.

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 * Origin: Afraid of the competition? We ARE the Competition! (3:633/104)