Text 3583, 222 rader
Skriven 2006-02-27 11:15:00 av George Pope (2482.funny)
Ärende: Ultimate Phone Prank
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Party Line
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Of all telephone pranks conceived, this perhaps is the most
ingenuous, crafty, perplexing, bizzare and often hilarious.
To execute this practical joke, a telephone with two
eensions is required. The most easily adapted for this prank
is the model with the buttons that are depressed to get a
different line. (There is often a "Hold" button on these
models as well.) By taking the telephone apart, the two
lines can be connected so that two different outgoing calls
can be connected so that two different outgoing calls can be
placed at the saame time. (The details of how exactly to do
this are going to be kept a secret. My intention is to
amuse, not dismantle the nation's communications system.)

Once the two lines are connected, you are ready to go. If
you are working alone, you need only dial the first six
numbers of one target's phone number, place it on hold,
quickly dial the other target's number on the other line,
then switch back and dial the seventh number of the first
target's phone number. Then press down the buttons for both
lines and listen to both phones ring. (Mechanical ingenuity
can show you how this is possible.)  If you are working with
an accomplice, you can each dial on seperate extensions a
different person at the same time, provided one of you has
connected  the two lines on his phone. Thus, you both dial
your different numbers, and VIOLA, both phones at the other
end begin to ring at the same time. Both persons who recieve
the call think the other has phoned him or her. So, if one
of you calls your mother and the other calls your father,
both your parents will pick up the phone and ask why the
other called. If a person has an answering machine at home,
you can call him at work, while your accomplice calls your
target's answering machine. The result is the bizzare
experience of your target recieving a call from his own
answering machine. You can connect old lovers, new lovers,
students who cut class with their teachers, criminals with
the police and any unlikely couple you deem fit. Remember,
though, the persons you call can hear your voice on the
line. You are essentially creating a conference call with
your fiddling.

See how practical these pran show how far this prank can be
taken I offer the following true to life example, committed
by two pranksters against an antagonist of theirs, here
called Wanda... Wanda had just submitted her undergraduate
thesis on barbecue (yes, a thesis on barbecue) to her
professor, so John and Alan began by connecting Wanda to her
teacher.

:::::::::

"Hello," said the professor.
"Hello," said Wanda.
"Who are you calling?" asked the professor after a pause.
"Who are YOU calling?" asked Wanda.
"Lady, you called me," said the professor.
"No, I didn't. You called me," siad Wanda.
"I certainly didn't. My phone just rang."
"so did mine."
"There must be some problem. Where are you calling from?"
"Hunter County," said Wanda.
"That's where I am," said the professor.
"I'm in Hattersville," said Wanda.
"So am I."
"I'm calling from Monroe College," said Wanda.
"I'm at the faculty building in my office."
There was a pause.
"Professor Burns!" said Wanda.
"Who's this?" asked Professor Burns.
"Wanda Adams."
"Why did you call me?"
"I didn't. My phone rang. I thought you called me," said
Wanda.
"I didn't."

Another pause.

"You have my thesis, don't you??" asked Wanda.
"Yess, but I haven't read it. I only got it yesterday."
"Right. I didn't expect you would have. All right good-bye."
"Good-Bye," said the professor.

John and Alan called Wanda back, connecting her this time to
a pizza parlor.

"Hello," said Wanda.
"Hello," said an employee at the pizza parlor.
"Yes?"
"Do you want to order?" asked the voice.
"Order what?" asked Wanda. "Who do you want to speak to?"
"Nobody. You called here. We're a pizza parlor."
"you called ME," said Wnada.
"No, I didn't. You called me. The phone rang."
"So did mine," said Wanda.
"Lady, we're a pizza parlor. We don't call people to see if
 they want to make an order."
"Forget it. Good-Bye." Wanda hung up.

This time John and Alan connected Wanda to the college
switchboard.

"Who is this?" asked Wanda in perplexed tones.
"Monroe College switchboard. Can I help you?" said a woman.
"Why did you call me?" asked Wanda.
"Madam, you called me. Can I help you."
"But my phone just rang. Why did you call?"
"Madam, the college switchboard does not make outgoing
calls."

After connecting Wanda to Alcoholics Anonymous. John and
Alan called her directly.

"This is the telephone company calling," said Alan. "We
 understad that you're having some problems with your line."
"Thank GOD! Yes," said Wanda, relived.
"We're also told that you're playing some sort of prank on
 persons in your calling area. Would you please stop this
 immediately?"
"I'm not plaaying any prank, I keep getting calls from
 people who say they're not calling me."
"All right, whatever. We're going to do some work on the
line in your area. For a few minutes the wires will be
exposed to the lineman on the job. So, if your phone rings,
please don't pick it up, since that could cause the lineman
to be electrocuted."
"All right," said Wanda reluctantly.

Then, as you no doubt have guessed, John and Alan called her
back. (See "Reach Out and Torture Someone II or The Wichita
Lineman Is Dead on the Line.") After failing to respond on
several occasions, Wanda finally gave in and picked up the
phone.

"Aaaaiieeeeeee!" screeched Alan, in a highly realistic
 impersonation of a lineman being electrocuted.

Wanda screamed and dropped the phone.
After a few minutes, they called Wanda back.

"This is the telephone comapny," said Alan. "Did you answer
 the phone?"
"Yes," said Wanda weakly, "I thought--"
"The lineman we told you about has been severely
electrocuted."
"Oh, no."
"Oh, yes. We and lawyers will be in touch with you soon, you
 can be sure." Alan hung up.

Next they connected Wanda with the REAL phone company.

"Hello," said Wanda, tiring rapidly.
"Hello," said a man at the phone company.
"Who is this?" asked Wanda.
"It's the phone company."
"I'm so glad you called back. What's going on?"
"Ma'am we didn't call you. You called us."
"No, I didn't. My phone just rang. Aren't you calling about
 my broken phone?"
"I'm sorry, ma'am, but we have no way of knowing a phone is
 broken unless a customer calls us."
"But you just called me about the fellow being
 electrocuted."
"I'm afraid we didn't," said the man,  convinced he had
 some loony on the phone--which was not far from the truth.

When that conversation ended, John and Alaan connected Wanda
back to the pizza parlor, a crisis hotline and finally back
to her professor Burns.

"Hello," said the professor.
"Hello," said Wanda.
"Adams, what is it now?"
"Professor Burns--"
"Wanda, I have not had time to grade your thesis, so you
needen't call me."
"But I didn't call you. My phone rang. Somthing crazy is
going on."
"Get some sleep, Adams."
"Professor, I didn't call you."
"Okay. Good-Bye."

Finally Wanda was connected back to the phone company. In
the midst of that conversation, though, Alan let go a burst
of laughter which in an instant identifed him to his target.

"Alan!" Wanda screamed.

The pranksters fled to their rooms. (They were working out
of the student newspaper office.) Five minutes later, John
recieveda call. It was Alan. "John," came the plantive
whisper.

"Alan?"
"Yes."
"Why are you whispering?"
"I'm in my closet."
"Why?"
"Because Wanda is outside my room pounding on the door and
 won't stop."
"Oh," said John. "Well, you can do one of two things. One,
tell her it's part of apsychology experiment on stress.
Two, tell her the truth."

Alan ended up lying. Wanda never spoke to him for the rest
of the semester. John told the truth and was forgiven--or
partly forgiven.



Your Moderator and all-round friend/servant,
|<+]::-) ("Cyberpope")
Internet: gapope@vcn.bc.ca
1)If you don't like a joke, post 2-3 examples of what you DO like!
B)If you DO like a joke, say thank-you with 2-3 jokes of your own! :)

(AKA the Bishop of ROM!)

... nfx v3.1                                                                 
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