Text 3634, 99 rader
Skriven 2006-03-07 23:18:08 av Greg Sears (3:633/104)
Ärende: Bone
============
.  o  _   From the Desk of Greg Sears AREA: F-UNNY
. Q\_|_)   --=[ I C E-man's FUNNY BONE Collection Book for ALL ]=--
. T> III                     Page: 12

                     You Know You're A Redneck If...


    1.  The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than
        your spouse.
                                                           _
    2.  You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke       /))
        at the dinner table in front of her kids.       __(((__
                                                      .' _`""`_`'.
    3.  You've been married three times and still    /  /\\  /\\  \
        have the same in-laws.                      |  /)_\\/)_\\  |
                                                    |  _  _()_  _  |
    4.  You think a woman who is "out of your       |  \\/\\/\\//  |
        league" bowls on a different night.          \  \/\/\/\/  /
                                                jgs   '.___..___.'
                 .-.
                 \ /      .-.
                 |_|  .-. \ /     5.  Jack Daniel makes your list of
                 |=|  \ / |_|         "Most Admired People."
                /   \ |_| |=|
               / (@) \|=|/   \
          ____ |     /   \@)  \   6.  You think Genitalia is an
        .'    '.    / (@) \   |       Italian airline.
       / #      \   |     |   |
       |    o o |'='|     |  /    7.  You wonder how service stations
       \     o  /    \   /'='         keep their restrooms so clean.
    jgs '.____.'      '='

    8.  Anyone in your family ever died right after saying,  "Hey,
        y'all watch this"

    9.  You've got more than one brother named 'Darryl.'

    10. You think that Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

    11. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

    12. You go to your family reunion looking for a date.

    13. Your Junior/Senior   .@@@@@.
        Prom had Daycare.   /       \
                           /  6 6    \
    14. You think the last(    ^     ,)
        words to The Star  \   c     /-._
        Spangled Banner     `._____.'    `--.__
        are, "Gentlemen,         \ /         `/``"""'-.
        start your engines."      Y    7     /         :
                                  |   /     |  .--.     :
    15. You lit a match in the    /  /__     \/    `.__.:.____.-.
        bathroom and your house  /  / / `"""`/    .-"..____.-.   \
        exploded right off   _.-'  /_/      (                 \-. \
        its wheels.         `=----'          `----------'""`-. \ `"
                                                              `"
    16. You had to remove a toothpick for your wedding pictures.

    17. The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down,
        depending on how much gas it has in it.

    18. You have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge.

    19. One of your kids was born on a pool table.
                  __________
                ./)      o  (\.      20. Your dad walks you to school
              ./     o         \.        because you are both in the
            ./             o     \.      same grade.
          ./)   o                 (\.
        ./                           \.     21. You need one more
      ./             O           o     \.       hole punched in your
    ./)_________________________________(\.     card to get a freebie
    (_____________________________________)     at the House of
    |XX|===============================|XX|     Tattoos.
     \/                          jgs    \/

    22. You have flowers planted in a bathroom fixture in your
        front yard.

    23. Ya can't get married to yer sweetheart cause there's a law
        against it.

    24. You dated one of your parents' current spouses in high school.

    25. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

    26. Your school fight song is "Dueling Banjos."

    27. Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

         _                                                 _
        (_'------Suggest The Funny Bone To A Friend-------'_)
        (_.===============================================._)

 

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