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 lista första sista föregående nästa
Text 3702, 103 rader
Skriven 2006-03-22 06:00:56 av Greg Sears (3:633/104)
Ärende: Story
=============
THE PERKS OF BEING OVER 50

1)    Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

2)    In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

3)    No one expects you to run -- anywhere.

4)    People call at 9 PM and ask, "Did I wake you?"

5)    People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

6)    There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

7)    Things you buy now won't wear out.

8)    You can eat dinner at 4 P.M.

9)    You can live without sex but not without your glasses.

10)  You enjoy hearing about other peoples operations.

11)  You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

12)  You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

13)  You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into theroom.

14)  You sing along with elevator music.

15)  Your eyes won't get much worse.

16)  Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

17)  Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national
weatherservice.

18)  Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember
themeither.

19)  Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

20)  You can't remember the Web site where you saw this list.

GAMES FOR WHEN WE ARE OLDER

1)    Sag, You're it.

2)    Pin the Toupee on the bald guy.

3)    20 questions shouted into your good ear.

4)    Kick the bucket.

5)    Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over.

6)    Doc Doc Goose.

7)    Simon says something incoherent.

8)    Hide and go pee.

9)    Spin the Bottle of Mylanta.

10)  Musical recliners.

SIGNS OF "OLD" IS WHEN...

ú         Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make love, and you
answer,"Pick one, I can't do both!"

ú         Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and
you'rebarefoot.

ú         A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the
garagedoor.

ú         Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

ú         You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't
haveto go along.

ú         You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by thepolice.

ú         "Getting a little action," means you don't need to take any
fibertoday.

ú         "Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot.

ú         An "all-nighter" means not getting up to pee.



    .------------.
   / I C E-van|[0]\
   |  _       |_ice\ Cheers,
~ ~=-(@)------(@)-=/ I C E-man
##############################

... ÜßÜßÜÜßÜßÜÜßÜßÜ ‹ DRi¥K tì màkˆ éÂhÉ© pˆ•plä ¡Nt‰R‰StiïG. ßÜßÜßßÜßÜßßÜßÜ

--- EzyBlueWave V2.01b006 00F90257
 * Origin: Afraid of the competition? We ARE the Competition! (3:633/104)