Text 3970, 262 rader
Skriven 2006-04-07 09:41:00 av George Pope
     Kommentar till en text av Nathan Prugh
Ärende: Prymid spam joke
========================
NP> I  got this piece of spam through a rime christian group via usenet...
here
NP> are my comments and joke related to this.
NP> (NOTE: my commentary will be in all caps)

Dear Friend:  If you're insane, please take a moment and read this...

Follow these directions EXACTLY, and in 20 to 60 days you will receive over
$50,000.00 cash - all yours! This program has remained successful because of
the HONESTY and INTEGRIT/~~~~~~~~~~~~\cipants.  Please keep its success by
carefully ad/~~~~~~~              \ns. /~~~~\is NOT an illegal
pyra/~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   O-BOY!  YESSIREE!!  ~~~~     /product is not sold or/   
                                           \a Mailing List that_/  You've
gotten this in your mail, received it   \ig bucks for qual/   by email, and
seen it posted all over the Net!  /l income which is\                         
                        /including in that l\        @: THE PONZI PYRAMID OF
POWER!! :@      /s exactly: [1] Immed/                                        
       \mail $1.00 to the fi\   The Inter-Con never quits!  And five'll get  
\number 5, and send a\  you ten that most of these are being posted   /your
total investment/  by the SAME DUDE and all the first names you  \ng "Please
add my nam\  send your money to are really his drop-boxes  /legitimate
service th/  or "production associates"!  After 6 years   /s service). [2]
Remov/    of chain-scamming, this BB Bunko's gotta    \ Move the other 9 n\   
  have more bucks than Scrooge McDuck!!      \, and then number 3 w\          
                                      \your name and address\  He's probably
the same shark who advertises,  /er 10. [3] Post th/   "Earn tax-free income
through Mail Order!   /ition into ten(10) sep\  Send $20 for my Surprise
Success Formula!"  /o the file section, ca/                                   
          \ONEY.FAST. [4] Within/     Well, WE can play THAT game OURSELVES!! 
  \0 in CASH! Keep a cop\   Yes, if you're a loyal lurker of this Group 
/again when you need m/  and all of its sundry crosspostings, this is  \n you
are automatic/   YOUR OPPORTUNITY to GET RICH NOW, and laugh   /ending you
$1.00 to \    in your sleeve all the way to the BANK!!    /can then be rented
the\                                              /ellow Pages for addit / 
Simple?  You bet!  Legal?  Who cares!  It   \ become more valuable a\  slipped
past the SysOp, and now it's YOURS!! \perfectly legal.  If
\______________________________________________/ refer to Title 18, Section
1302 & 1341 of the postal lottery laws, should the IRS or any other government
agency question you. (EtcEtcBlahblah&Blah)

---------------------------------------------------------------->8 cut

        Dear Fellow NewsGroup Reader...  Are you sitting down?

*>  Well I hope you ARE, because THIS WILL KNOCK YOU OFF YOUR FEET!  <*

YES!!  The *REAL* SECRET to GETTING RICH NOW and MAKING BIG MONEY FAST is just
another tippy-tap away on your computer keyboard's space bar! But...Do You
Dare?  ...What if "They" find out?  Well, you really don't know me, so all I
can do is ask for your Trust and Confidence, to just:

                      ==( TAP THE SPACE BAR )==


xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

!IR$!FBI!CIA!JFK!CEO!NRA!TNT!UFO!ILLUMINATI!GOD!ZOG!KIBO!ATOMIC!GOLD!$!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ' ::  
                    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~                       :: ` !:::    _____
  k     Guaranteed 100% every time!         ___      :::! !:::    \_@_/  //   
 Safe when used as directed!      __[___]__   :::! !:::   {~._.~}//     Never
leave home, ever again!      {~@=@~}    :::! !:::    ( ^ )//     Lose 30
pounds in just 10 days!      ( ^ )     :::! !:::   ()~:~%R      (That's $46
US, $237 Canadian)      ()~*~()    :::! !:::   (_)-<|)    Offer GOOD for life
of this posting  /(_)-(_)\_  :::!
            ~

Intrigued?  Then follow these instructions EXACTLY:  Press the Space Bar


-*&*-*&*-*&*-*&*-*&*-*&*-*&*-*&*-*&*-*&*-*&*-*&*-*&*-*&*-*&*-*&*-*&*-*&*
-
      -+< OH WOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!  More Instructions!!!!! >+-

Do you constantly lose at Lotto?  Throw craps every time?  Always choose the
slowest checkout line?  Then YOU are PERFECT for this SPECIAL OFFER!

But first -- let me ask these mandatory routine self-help questions:

.......................................................................

Do you want true financial independence and constant tax-free income? Do you
want to be in a totally loving, mutually supportive relationship? Do you want
to achieve states of pleasure previously unimaginable? Do you want to start
sleeping with your SO, instead of your PC?
Do you want to look better, feel better, run faster and jump higher? Do you
want to cleanse all Karma, and tap into infinite creative power? Do you want
to bring universal healing and happiness to all around you? Do you want the
Secret of Secrets - the Answer to Your Greatest Dreams? Do you want to find a
few of those unmarked bags of cash on the street? Do you want the total effect
of 10,000 cups of coffee in one minute? Do you want to equalize things a
little with an Evil Business Partner Do you want who embezzled over $100,000,
then attempted to get a covert Do you want $1,000,000 insurance policy on your
life, stole all of your Do you want property and your company, traded your
lifework to a crooked Do you want distributor, then declared bankruptcy and
moved to a secret Do you want location where he thought no creditor would ever
find him? Do you want me to stop asking all this and get on to the Good
Stuff???
.......................................................................

If you answered YES to one or more of the above..WELCOME TO THE
INTERNET! If you answered YES to the last half, then WE actually have even
more in common!  That's right!  YOU could have your Own NetGroup!!
 (or just take MINE)  Get flame-mail from EVERY imaginable CORNER OF THIS
GLOBE!  *YES*, YOU could do on your own computer for FREE, what others do for
income!!
    __///////\   Why work like a slave for years, when   /\\\\__
      \\\\/   you can get a cheap laugh in seconds!   \///////

"Well sure", you say, "That's fine!  IN THEORY."  But somehow, all that SEEMS
to be straying from The Point -- The ASTOUNDING, STARTLING ANSWER that YOU
have been WAITING FOR!! -- Which, of course, is just beyond:

                      [==( HIT SPACE BAR NOW )==]


$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

 Are you EXCITED!?!  Are you JUMPING Up/and\Down WITH ANTICIPATION!?!?
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>

                        ______________________
:::::::`:::::::.:`.____|                      |____,'  .':;::::::::::::
::::::::::.::.:.`. \   |   OH FRABJUS DAY!!   |   / ,',.:.::::.::::::::
:::.::::.:::. - --  >  |______________________|  <  -- - ..:.::.:::::.:
:::::::::::.::.:,' /_______)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(_______\ `.::::.:.:::::.::::
                   ~~~~~~~~                ~~~~~~~~

CONGRATULATIONS!  You're a WINNER!  And you certainly WANT this BRIDGE I'm
selling!  But it's MINE!!  Though I'll TELL YOU how to GET YOURS!

It's   *Brilliant!*   *Powerful!*   *Success-Proven!*   *Beta-Tested!*

You may just win a GENUINE DIAMOND only a tenth smaller than this "."! Or a
42" COLOR TV cord!  Or a fabulous TWO WEEKS IN NORWAY brochure!! Make
thousands of dollars every hour, with a job at the US Treasury! You will earn
$600,000 every day, just by being a Disney executive!! Tomorrow - YOU could
have LOTS of other C00L and quasi-VALUABLE stuff! But HOW could I know all
this -- unless...I'm PSYCHIC!!  So LISTEN UP!!
                                              ~~~~~~~
I KNOW what you're thinking!  "This must be some kind of sneaky, under-
handed, Hollywood-hyped, flim-flam, rip-off scheme to separate Me from MY
hard-earned SAVINGS!"  But you're WRONG!  It's NOT sneaky at ALL!!!

It really IS the Perfect GET RICH Formula, which only I have discovered, and
which I am passing its full SECRET *EXECUTIVE* KNOWLEDGE on to YOU!

AHA!  Now you're thinking, "WHY would he share his Power-System Secrets with a
complete stranger??"  That's a REAL GOOD QUESTION!  ...Real good. Hmmm...  NO,
it hurts TOO MUCH to think about it, and that's why They're keeping me in the
Soft Cell anyway! ...I think *AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA


"Doesn't that mean *I* have to think?"  NO! ... It does NOT take a "Math
Genius Rocket Scientist" to figure this out!  Because it's THOUGHT-FREE! The
fact that you're reading this should be proof enough!  And if you're at all
worried about getting SOMETHING THIS VALUABLE for NOTHING, rest assured -- IT
IS WORTH IT!!  ALL you need to do, is simply "GET a CLUE"!

????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Finally!  You can get RICH beyond your wildest hopes!  HARD to beL.ieve?
That's o-KAYe -- I didn't believe it myself!  But look where I am now!! And
so are 8850 others, from Zeiler Avenue to Arleta CA, 91331 in all!!

In other words:  POWER!  EXCITEMENT!  SATISFACTION!  THRILLS!  ECSTACY!
ROMANCE!  THERAPY!  HAPPINESS!  ENTERTAINMENT!  COMPANIONSHIP!  RESPECT!
ELOQUENCE!  EXCELLENCE!  PEACE!!  I can't say it any plainer!!

This really IS the *Secret* to GETTING RICH now!!  Get what others have
gotten!  Help Yourself -- just like CFO's in major movie corporations!

"But wait -- if I WIN, doesn't that mean somebody else has to lose?"
Absolutely "NO"!  Not if that "somebody else" never ever FINDS OUT!! This is
a *SECRET FORMULA* - just like it said 5 lines back up there! S-E-C-R-E-T-! 
Just for US!  Keep it that way!  Nuff said!  Sheesh!

               @==( PRESS SPACE BAR ONE LAST TIME! )==@

Wake your neighbors!  Phone your foes!  You are now the One who Knows! ..Just
remember:  THIS IS ALL TOP SECRET!!!!  (`tis better that way ;)
                           ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*

AT LAST!  THIS is THE ANSWER!  FORGOT the QUESTION?  IT DOESN'T MATTER!!

************************************************************************

BIG MONEY!  BIG MONEY!  BIG MONEY!  BIG MONEY!  BIG MONEY!!  BIG MONEY!!

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Get a bigger monitor screen!  Then hold a magnifier up to it!!  Or get a video
projector, and throw this on the wall!  Then wait'll it gets dark and  project
it on the building across the street!  Or up on the clouds! Yow!!  Or get a
real $100 bill, and scan it in sideways!!  And no matter how big you make it,
it'll have the same full monetary backing by the USA government that the
actual Reserve Note has!!!  But wait - there's more!

Hit "Copy Block", then "Insert Block x100"...and MAKE MORE MONEY, as fast as
You Can!  And with no more effort or skill than a corporate executive!
........................................................................
 ______________________________________________________________________ |     
                                                                | |
==================================================================== | |
|%/^\%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&{ Federal Reverse Note }%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&//^\%| | |
|/inn\)===============------------------------===============(/inn\| | |
|\|UU/              { UNITED STARES OF AMERICA }              \|UU/| | | |&\-/
    ~~~~~~~~   ~~~~~~~~~~=====~~~~~~~~~~~  P8188928246   \-/&| | | |%//)    
~~~_~~~~~          // ___ \                         (\%| | | |&(/  13    /_\  
          // /_ _\ \           ~~~~~~~~  13  \)&| | | |%\       // \          
:| |/ ~ \| |:  3.21  /|  /\   /\     //%| | | |&\\     ((iR$)> }:P ebp  || |"-
-"| ||        || |||| ||||   ///&| | | |%\))     \_//      sge  || (|e,e|? || 
      || |||| ||||  ((//%| | | |&))/       \_/            :| `._^_,' |:       
|| |||| ||||   \((&| | | |%//)                       \ \=// //         || ||||
||||   (\%| | | |&//       R265402524K       \U/_/ //   series ||  \/   \/    
\&| | | |%/>  13                     _\___//_    1932              13  <\%| |
| |&/^\      Treasurer  ______{ Frankly }_______   Secretary     /^\&| | |
|/inn\                ))--------------------((                /inn\| | |
|)|UU(================/ ONE HUNGERED DOLLARS \================)|UU(| | |
|{===}%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%a%a%a%a%a%a%a%a%a%a%a%a%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&{===}| | |
==================================================================== |
|______________________________________________________________________|

Turn up the Green!   Feel the screen!   Ionic Energy at Your Fingertips!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 Best of all, BEST OF ALL, you can use this *GRN* Formula on ANYTHING!!
 Poker, Roulette, Horses, Dogs, Snakes, Toads, Hollywood :producers --
 Yes, ANY picture you can put on this screen can be blown up, real big!
 Even that Bridge I mentioned back there!  I'm talking Guided Imagery!!
           . ,                                            . ,
:::;' /)  - * -  BIG DREAM Payoffs!!  Again and AGAIN!!  - + -  (\ `:::: ::' 
/ )   ':`                                            ':`   ( \_ ` :' _( (_   
_   First, make sure nobody is watching, who    _    ) )\ /> : (((\ \)  /,)  
might contest Your Sanity.  Then TOUCH    / )  / //))/ : (\\ \_/ /    the
Magic "Bob" Face in the center of     \ \_/ ///// . :. \       /    the ascii
$100 on Your screen and SHOUT:    \       / .: ::. \    _/ .                  
                           . \_    / .:: ::::/   /  .:.*  "TREMENDOUS
TREASURES BEYOND COMPARE   *:::.  \   \.::: :::/   /.::::::.*  WILL ALL BE
MINE THIS HAPPY YEAR!" *.:::::::.\   \::: ::/O\
/::::::::::.....................................:::::::::::\   \::

[Hey - couldn't hurt.  And if YOU receive OVER $10,000,000.00 in CASH in the
next 60 days - remember to send me just 1% and I won't tell a Soul!]

I am the moderator of FIDONET's "FUNNY Jokes and Stories" echo (come on by!)
:)

I sign in peace, as a friend,
|<+]::-( ("Cyberpope"(the Bishop of ROM!))
Internet: gapope@vcn.bc.ca
Suggestions for joke conference happiness:
1)If you don't like a joke, post 2-3 examples of what you DO like! B)If you DO
like a joke, say thank-you with 2-3 jokes of your own! :) My Preferred Netmail
address is: 1:153/307.11

... nfx v3.1 I'll have a steak sandwich...a porterhouse btwn 2
ribeyes!
--- SBBSecho 2.11-Win32
 * Origin: ILink: * The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (454:1/757)