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 lista första sista föregående nästa
Text 4071, 209 rader
Skriven 2006-05-02 22:15:11 av George Pope (1:153/715.1275)
Ärende: Destined to be a new Classic!
=====================================
(via UGA HUMOR listserv)

Do you all remember Abbot & Costello... you know, who's on first??
You'll love this... :)

Abbot & Costello take on the 21st century and computers.........

ABBOT: Computer Support Group. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up a home office in the den, and I'm thinking of
buying a computer.

ABBOT: Mac?
COSTELLO:  No, the name is Lou.

ABBOT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOT: Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my name is Lou.

ABBOT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Does it get stuffy?

ABBOT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO: I don't know. What do I see when I look out the windows?

ABBOT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOT: Software that runs on Windows?
COSTELLO: No, on the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals,
track expenses. You know, run a business. What have you got?

ABBOT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

ABBOT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what?

ABBOT: Recommended something.
COSTELLO: You recommended something?

ABBOT: Yes.
COSTELLO: For my office?

ABBOT: Yes.
COSTELLO: Okay, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office.

ABBOT: Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: I already have an office and it already has windows! Let's say I'm
sitting at my computer, and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

ABBOT: Word.
COSTELLO: If I'm writing a proposal, I'm going to need lots of words. But what
program do I load?

ABBOT: Word.
COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOT: The Word in Office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

ABBOT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: Which word in "office for windows?"

ABBOT: The Word you get when you click the blue W.
COSTELLO: I'm going to click your big W if you don't give me a straight answer.
Let's forget about words for a minute. What do I need if I want to watch a movi

over the Internet?

ABBOT: Real One.
COSTELLO: Maybe a real movie, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your
business. But what do I need to watch it?

ABBOT: Real One.
COSTELLO: If it's a long movie I'll also want to watch reels two, three and
four. Can I watch reel four?

ABBOT: Of course.
COSTELLO: Great! With what?

ABBOT: Real One.
COSTELLO: Okay, so I'm sitting at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What
do I do?

ABBOT: You click the blue 1.
COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?

ABBOT: The blue 1.
COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue W?

ABBOT: Of course it is. The blue 1 is Real One. The blue W is Word.
COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: But there's three words in "office for windows!"

ABBOT: No, just one. But it's the most popular Word in the world.
COSTELLO: It is?

ABBOT: Yes, although to be fair there aren't many other Words left. It pretty
much wiped out all the other Words.
COSTELLO: And that word is the real one?

ABBOT: No. RealOne has nothing to do with Word. RealOne isn't even part of
Office.
COSTELLO: Never mind; I don't want to get started with that again. But I also
need something for bank accounts, loans, and so on. What do you have to help me
track my money?

ABBOT: Money.
COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?

ABBOT: Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

ABBOT: No, not really. It comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO: What comes bundled with my computer?

ABBOT: Money.
COSTELLO: Money comes bundled with my computer?

ABBOT: Exactly. No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer at no extra charge? How much
money do I get?

ABBOT: Just one copy.
COSTELLO: I get a copy of money. Isn't that illegal?

ABBOT: No. We have a license from Microsoft to make copies of Money.
COSTELLO: Microsoft can license you to make money?

ABBOT: Why not? They own it.
COSTELLO: Well, it's great that I'm going to get free money, but I'll still nee

to track it. Do you have anything for managing your money?

ABBOT: Managing Your
Money? That program disappeared years ago.
COSTELLO: Well, what do you sell in its place?

ABBOT: Money.
COSTELLO: You sell money?

ABBOT: Of course. But if you buy a computer from us, you get it for free.
COSTELLO: That's all very wonderful, but I'll be running a business. Do you hav

any software for, you know, accounting?

ABBOT: Simply Accounting.
COSTELLO: Probably, but it might get a little complicated.

ABBOT: If you don't want Simply Accounting, you might try M.Y.O.B.
COSTELLO: M.Y.O.B.? What does that stand for?

ABBOT: Mind Your Own Business.
COSTELLO: I beg your pardon?

ABBOT: No, that would be I.B.Y.P. I said M.Y.O.B.
COSTELLO: Look, I just need to do some accounting for my home business. You
know--accounting? You do it with money.

ABBOT: Of course you can do accounting with Money. But you may need more.
COSTELLO: More money?

ABBOT: More than Money. Money can't do everything.
COSTELLO: I don't need a sermon! Okay, let's forget about money for the moment.
I'm worried that my computer might...what's the word?
Crash. And if my computer crashes, what can I use to restore my data?

ABBOT: Go Back.
COSTELLO: Okay. I'm worried about my computer smashing and I need something to
restore my data. What do you recommend?

ABBOT: Go Back.
COSTELLO: How many times do I have to repeat myself?

ABBOT: I've never asked you to repeat yourself. All I said was Go Back.
COSTELLO: How can I go back if I haven't even been anywhere? Okay, I'll go back

What do I need to write a proposal?

ABBOT:  Word.
COSTELLO: But I'll need lots of words to write a proposal.

ABBOT: No, you only need one Word-the Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: But there's three words in...Oh, never mind.

ABBOT: Hello? Hello? Customers! Why do they always hang up on me?
Oh, well. Computer Support Group. Can I help you?


Your Moderator and all-round friend/servant,
<+]::-{(} ("Cyberpope")
Internet: gapope@vcn.bc.ca
1)If you don't like a joke, post 2-3 examples of what you DO like!
B)If you DO like a joke, say thank-you with 2-3 jokes of your own! :)
My Preferred Netmail address is: 1:153/715.1275
ICQ UIN: 32617950

(I am the Bishop of ROM!)


--- PPoint 1.76
 * Origin: Cyberpope pointing via Bandmaster BBS! (1:153/715.1275)