Text 4098, 180 rader
Skriven 2006-05-05 06:57:40 av Greg Sears (3:633/104)
     Kommentar till en text av George Pope
Ärende: Re: As I Mature. . .
============================
-=> 02-May-2006 22:09, George Pope wrote in a message to all <=-

 GP> As I mature

    Then you can read these Q's & A's of understanding......

Q. What is the solution to the extermination of wetbacks?
A. Tell the blacks they taste like chicken.

Q. Did you know that ALL children are born with Penises?
A. Yeah.....But it falls off the stupid ones!

Q. What's the hardest part about eating vegetables?
A. Getting them out of the wheelchair.

Q. What is the worst part about F***ing a cow?
A. You have to climb off to kiss it!

Q. What is grosser than gross?
A. When you sit on your Grandfathers lap and he pops a boner.

Q. Why are a woman's <private parts> and <anal orifice> so close
   together?
A. In case your aim is off...

Q. Why aren't bird dogs allowed in the White House?
A. Because they keep chasing the Quayle and pissing on the Bushes!

Q. Why has Tammy Fae stopped shaving her legs?
A. Because she figures that's the way Jim will like them when he gets
   out.

Q. What's the best thing about having Alzheimer's disease?
A1: You can hide your own easter eggs!
A2: You're always meeting new people!

Q. What do you get when you cross a Hell's Angel with a Jehovah's
   Witness?
A. A Guy that knocks on your door Saturday morning and tells you to F***
   Off!

Q. Did you know that Hitler commit suicide?
A. He got the gas bill!

Q. What's the difference between a woman in church and a woman in a
   bubble bath?
A. The woman in church has a soul full of hope and the woman in the
   bubble bath has a hole full of soap.

Q. Did you hear about the fag who joined the NFL?
A. Started off a tight end, but ended up a wide receiver!

Q. Why do men buy women nighties with fur around the bottom?
A. To keep their neck warm.

Q. What is the definition of a Macho Man?
A. A man who shaves his balls with a weedeater.

Q. What's the difference between a prostitute, a mistress, and a wife?
A1: A prostitute says, "Are you done, yet?"
A2: A mistress says, "Are you done, already?"
A3: A wife says, "I think the ceiling needs to be painted."

Q. What's the difference between your sister and a Cadillac?
A. Not everyone has been in a Cadillac.

Q. What is the first warning sign of AIDS?
A. A pounding sensation in your ass.

Q. What is the height of frustration for a man?
A. To walk into a brick wall with a hardon...  and bruise his nose.

Q. What do you have when you have two fuzzy green balls in your hand?
A. Kermit The Frog's Undivided Attention.

Q. What's in Miss Piggy's douche?
A. Hogwash!

Q. What did the 7 dwarfs say when the prince awoke Snow White from her
   deep sleep?
A. "Guess its back to jerking off..."

Q. Why does pussy smell like fish?
A. The same reason that cum looks like tartar sauce.

Q. Why do dogs lick their balls?
A. Because they can.

Q. What's the difference between a fag and a refrigerator?
A. The refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.

Q. What is a 6.9?
A. A 69er interrupted by a period!

Q. What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection ?
A. A quarter-pounder with cheese.

Q. What is the real definition of Miracle Whip?
A. Successful masturbation by a 90-year-old man.

Q. What do Marion Barry and Mrs.  Dan Quayle have in common?
A. They both blow a little dope!

Q. Why is sex like oxygen?
A. Because you don't care about either of them until you don't get any!

Q. What do you call oral sex between two yuppies?
A. SixtySomething

Q. How do you tell when a woman is horny?
A. When you put your hand down her pants and it feels like a horse
   eating oats.

Q. Why do women like whales?
A. They have an 8 foot tongue and can breathe through the top of their
   heads!

Q. Why do lawyers wear neckties?
A. To keep the foreskin from coming up over their heads.


> OBJoke: for our Moderator and all-round friend/servant

Mary, Mary, quite contrary,
How does your garden grow?
With tinkerbells and cockleshells
And a lot of horse manure.


> OBJoke: for mr. <+]::-{(} ("Cyberpope")

"It Hurts"

You probably can't imagine
It's as simple as can be
This place is rather private
The players he and she.

She whispered "will it hurt?"
"Of course not", he replied
"It's a simple project,
lay back and close your eyes."

She said "I'm rather frightened,
I've never done this before."
He wanted to continue
It wouldn't hurt much more

"It's becoming rather painful,
As tears rolled down her eyes,
"It's hurting something awful,
It must be quite a size!"

"Calm yourself, my darling,
As the feeling holds in your spine,
Open up more slightly,
So I can get more inside."

Suddenly with a jump
She gave a little shout
Now that it was over
He slowly pulled it out.

If you read this carefully
A dentist chair you'll find
It's not what you were thinking
it's just your dirty mind!


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  E-man (_)(_)  (_)  AWGTHTGTTSA

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