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Text 4181, 74 rader
Skriven 2006-05-19 22:40:03 av ceri@twmba.net
Ärende: Jokes of the day
========================
From: "Rai" <ceri@twmba.net>
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Excuses For School

  1. I got mugged on the way to school and they took my Bag with the 
homework in it.
  2. My baby brother threw up on my home work.
  3. I got stuck in the elevator.
  4. My mom forgot to wake me up.
  5. Didn't You feel The Earthquake?
  6. My mom put my homework in the washer.
  7. Sorry I was late; the bell rang before I got here
  8. Mom ate it, she's heavily pregnant and having very odd cravings
  9. I was going to go to school today, but my doctor recommended not doing 
anything that causes me stress.
 10. I'm tardy because I am protesting against the nature of clocks.
 11. Dear Ms Smith, Seth will not coming to school because of your ugly 
face, your bucked teeth, and your smelly farts. That is all. Seth's mom.
 12. I'm sorry, but I can't turn in my homework because my cat threw up on 
it. Want to see?
 13. Please excuse bob from school today as constipation has made him 
uptight.
 14. I ate my homework because I didn't have any ice cream, but it had all 
the answers on it so it made me smarter.
 15. Molly will not be attending school today because her fish died and 
we're planning the flushing.
 16. Please excuse Samantha from swimming today because of her plumbing 
problems.(period).
 17. Excuse Zac for he fell down the stairs studying for his algebra test.
 18. My underwear was too tight, it was cutting off the circulation to my 
brain!
 19. Please excuse my tardiness, My Mother took Drugs while she was pregnant 
with me.
 20. I spilt lemonade on my homework and its drying on the radiator at home.
 21. I wasn't in class yesterday cause i didn't want to go 

Defining teenagers
A Teenager is... 

  1. A person who can't remember to walk the dog but never forgets a phone 
number.
  2. A weight watcher who goes on a diet by giving up candy bars before 
breakfast.
  3. A youngster who receives his/her allowance on Monday, spends it on 
Tuesday, and borrows from his/her best friend on Wednesday.
  4. Someone who can hear a song by Madonna played three blocks away but not 
his mother calling from the next room.
  5. A whiz who can operate the latest computer without a lesson but can't 
make a bed.
  6. A student who will spend 12 minutes studying for her history exam and 
12 hours for her driver's license.
  7. A youngster who is well informed about anything he doesn't have to 
study.
  8. An enthusiast who has the energy to ride a bike for miles, but is 
usually too tired to dry the dishes.
  9. A connoisseur of two kinds of fine music: Loud and Very Loud.
 10. A young woman who loves the cat and tolerates her brother.
 11. A person who is always late for dinner but always on time for a rock 
concert.
 12. A romantic who never falls in love more than once a week.
 13. A budding beauty who never smiles until her braces come off.
 14. A boy who can sleep until noon on any Saturday when he suspects the 
lawn needs mowing.
 15. An original thinker who is positive that her mother was never a 
teenager. 

Rai
 ---
Alcoholic witch's spell:  Bubble, bubble, bourbon double 


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