Text 4252, 98 rader
Skriven 2006-05-23 08:31:02 av Greg Sears (3:633/104)
     Kommentar till en text av George Pope
Ärende: Did YOU know?
=====================
      THE EXTRA 26 COMMANDMENTS


In 1954 a leading French Archeologist while on a simple tour of Belgium
uncovered an ancient manuscript dating back to BC.  After twelve years
of strenuous translation the document was locked away in the vaults of a
Parisian church and forgotten.

             Until now...

I can now reveal to you the contents of the document.  It turned out to
be an interview...



... So I said to Him, "Listen God, each one of those buggers must weigh
at least 60 pounds each!", "I could maybe take one or two but the other
five are just gonna have to stay!".

Interviewer: "five?"

Moses: "Yeah.  Like I suggested he could at least put them on parchment
but just made Him sulk!  It took me 6 bloody weeks to get up that
sodding mountain!  I wasn't gonna carry 400 odd pounds of solid rock
tablets all the way back!"

Int: "So there were more than 10 Commandments then?"

Moses: "Oh Sure!  Originally 35 of the beggars!  Some really obscure
shit too.  I jotted them down but people didn't listen to me.  If it
wasn't etched in stone tablets they didn't want to know!"

Int: "And you still have these notes?"

Moses: "Yup!  I tried teaching the extra Commandments to people but they
didn't understand them.  Can't blame `em really. He said they would come
in useful one day ..."

Int: "Can you tell me the extra Commandments?"

Moses: "Alright.  (Rustle, Rustle) Ah, here we are ..."

      THE COMMANDMENTS (10 - 26)

11 - Thou shalt not buy trainers that cost 4 times your mortgage.

12 - Thou shalt not rent out a villa in Malta and call it "TimeShare".

13 - Thou shalt not spend millions advertising a service that people
     can't do without such as water.

14 - Thou shalt not go to poncy French subtitled films just to impress
     your girlfriend.

15 - Thou shalt not believe that Kylie Minogue has any talent.

16 - Thou shalt "love" thy neighbor, but only if you are married to her!

17 - Thou shalt not find Carla Lane sitcoms 'mildly amusing'.

18 - Thou shalt always thank your Aunty for her Christmas gift, even
     those naff socks and the leaky pen set.

19 - Thou shalt not Jeremy Beadle!

20 - Thou shalt not read the graffiti when sitting in a public toilet,
     you have better things to do!

21 - Thou shalt not name your son after yourself just so you can open
     his post "by accident".

22 - Thou shalt get very embarrassed at having to have to accept 1p
     change when buying a shirt priced  29.99.

23 - Thou shalt not follow false breasts.

24 - Thou shalt not remix a past hit and give it a weird name like the
     "Lanky Golf Ball" mix.

25 - Thou shalt not comb your last remaining strands of hair over your
     bald patch.

26 - Thou shalt not invent new names for soap powder just so you can say
     it cleans much better than last "better ever" version.



         ._ _.
 Cheers /(. .)\    )
  from    (*)____/Ý
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  C      /   Ý--\ Ý
  E-man (_)(_)  (_)  AWGTHTGTTSA

... I C E-man ///\**/\\\ Bugs? What bugs? ///\oo/\\\ ///\++/\\\

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