Text 4383, 83 rader
Skriven 2006-05-30 07:43:46 av Greg Sears (3:633/104)
Ärende: Bone
============
.  o  _   From the Desk of Greg Sears AREA: F-UNNY
. Q\_|_)   --=[ I C E-man's FUNNY BONE Collection Book for ALL ]=--
. T> III                     Page: 12

                        Limited Cranium Capacity


  Once upon a time a woman fell in love with a man beneath her station.
  He had nothing.  He was nobody.  She had wealthy parents and great
  political connections.  "I can't help it, Daddy,"  She told her dad.
  "When he rubs my feet I just come all to pieces.  I want to marry him
  so he  can rub my feet every night.

  "That's great," said her dad.  "But I am not going to          |       |
  support him.  He'll have to get a job."                        |   I   |
                                                                 |       |
  It was a terrible situation, for fair damsel had to face the   |   I   |
  truth; her foot-rubbing boyfriend had a self-imposed condi-    |       |
  tion known as a Limited Cranium Capacity.  "But he says it     |   I   |
  isn't his fault Daddy."                                        |       |
                                                                 |   I   |
  Dad gracefully accepted the inevitable.  Don't worry about     |       |
  it, Uncle Joe runs the State Highway Department.  He'll put    |   I   |
  Mr. Footrubber to work on the highway and no one will ever     |       |
  be any the wiser."                                             |   I   |
                                                                 |       |
  That was fair enough and fair damsel quickly agreed.  Joe      |   I   |
  Bob Footrubber was delighted with the news.  "You've never     |       |
  seen me work," he said.  "But I can work.  I'll work so hard,  |   I   |
  you'll be proud of me."                                        |       |
                                                                 |   I   |
  "All I care about is the footrubs," she admitted.  "Daddy      |       |
  pays for my toilet paper and all my other expenses.  All you   |   I   |
  have to do is keep your job for two weeks and we can get       |       |
  married."                                                      |   I   |
        ___        The very next morning Joe Bob went to work.   |       |
    ,--[___]--,    That night he came in, glowing with success.  |   I   |
   /           \           "They put me to painting yellow       |       |
  |,.--'```'--.,|    ,      lines down the middle of the high-   |   I   |
  |'-.,_____,.-'|    ||     way with a paintbrush.  I have my    |       |
  |'-.,_____,.-'|    ||     own paint bucket and everything.     |   I   |
  |             |   _||_    I painted 15 miles of yellow lines   |       |
  |  P A I N T  |  ///\\\   today.  They said I was doing        |   I   |
  |             |  HHHHHH   great."  The happy couple celebrat-  |       |
  |'-.,_____,.-'|  ||||||   ed with a footrub that went          |   I   |
  `'-.,_____,.-''  ||||||   all the way up to the ankle, and     |       |
 jgs                        beyond.                              |   I   |
                                                                 |       |
  When Joe Bob came home the next night though, he looked pen-   |   I   |
  sive.  "Something wrong?" she asked.  He admitted there was.   |       |
  "I only painted seven miles today.  They said that even if it  |   I   |
  was uphill that I was not doing so well. "                     |       |
                                                                 |   I   |
  "You'll do better tomorrow," she told him hopefully.  To keep  |       |
  their minds off their problem they did a footrub, starting at  |   I   |
  the knee and coming down, just to keep things from getting     |       |
  out of hand.  The next morning she let him out of the dog's    |   I   |
  room and sent him off to work with a big hug and one little    |       |
  kiss.  "You'll do great, Joe Bob."                             |   I   |
                                                                 |       |
  But that isn't the way it went down.  When Joe Bob came home   |   I   |
  that night he had a pink slip in his hands.  Fair damsel was   |       |
  deep in distress.  "What happened?"                            |   I   |
                                                                 |       |
  "I only painted two miles of yellow stripes today.  They       |   I   |
  said they just couldn't live with my output."                  |       |
                                                                 |   I   |
  "Only TWO miles?" she exclaimed.  "You painted 15 miles the    |       |
  first day.  You did seven miles the second day.  What's the    |   I   |
  matter you could only paint two miles today?"                  |       |
                                                                 |   I   |
  "It isn't my fault," he assured her.  "Every day it took me    |       |
  longer and longer to walk back to my paint bucket to dip my    |   I   |
  brush in fresh paint."                                         |       |

         _                                                 _
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        (_.===============================================._)

 

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