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Möte FUNNY, 4886 texter
 lista första sista föregående nästa
Text 4411, 265 rader
Skriven 2006-06-04 12:15:00 av George Pope (3330.funny)
   Kommentar till text 4406 av Greg Sears (3:633/104)
Ärende: Story
=============
GS> It's Great to be a Dog
GS>
GS>  01. If it itches, you can reach it. And no matter where it itches, no
GS>  one will be offended if you scratch it in public.

Better yet, you have the flexibility to LICK it and, again, no social taboos!

That, of course, is only great until your ASS itches!

What other people have been saying about dogs. . .

"If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise"
-- Unknown

"Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant."
-- Unknown

"Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about puppies."
-- Gene Hill

"In dog years, I'm dead."
-- Unknown

"To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity
of dogs."
-- Aldous Huxley

"A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around
three times before lying down."
-- Robert Benchley

"Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I
think that's how dogs spend their lives."
-- Steven Wright

"I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got
the guts to bite people themselves."
-- August Strindberg

"No animal should ever jump up on the dining room furniture
unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the
conversation."
-- Fran Lebowitz

"Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come
back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul -- chicken,
pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on
earth!"
-- Anne Tyler

"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird
religious cult."
-- Rita Rudner

"My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99
cents a can. That's almost $7.00 in dog money."
-- Joe Weinstein

"If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs
I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons."
-- James Thurber

"You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a
person with pets."
-- Nora Ephron

"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that
you are wonderful."
-- Ann Landers

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should
relax and get used to the idea."
-- Robert A. Heinlein

"In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance,
everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that
will ignore him."
-- Dereke Bruce, Taipei, Taiwan

"Of all the things I miss from veterinary practice, puppy breath
is one of the most fond memories!"
-- Dr. Tom Cat

"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your
face."
-- Ben Williams

"When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem."
-- Edward Abbey

"Cat's motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to
make it look like the dog did it."
-- Unknown

"Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag
of his tail."
-- Unknown

"No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation
as the dog does."
-- Christopher Morley

"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he
loves himself."
-- Josh Billings

"Man is a dog's idea of what God should be."
-- Holbrook Jackson

"The average dog is a nicer person than the average person."
-- Andrew A. Rooney

"He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You
are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful
and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be
worthy of such devotion."
-- Unknown

"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will
not bite you;  that is the principal difference between a dog and
a man."
-- Mark Twain

"Things that upset a terrier may pass virtually unnoticed by a
Great Dane."
-- Smiley Blanton

"I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly vanishing look of
amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think
humans are nuts."
-- John Steinbeck

"If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise"
-- Unknown

"Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant."
-- Unknown

"Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about puppies."
-- Gene Hill

"In dog years, I'm dead."
-- Unknown

"To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity
of dogs."
-- Aldous Huxley

"A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around
three times before lying down."
-- Robert Benchley

"Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I
think that's how dogs spend their lives."
-- Steven Wright

"I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got
the guts to bite people themselves."
-- August Strindberg

"No animal should ever jump up on the dining room furniture
unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the
conversation."
-- Fran Lebowitz

"Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come
back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul -- chicken,
pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on
earth!"
-- Anne Tyler

"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird
religious cult."
-- Rita Rudner

"My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99
cents a can. That's almost $7.00 in dog money."
-- Joe Weinstein

"If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs
I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons."
-- James Thurber

"You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a
person with pets."
-- Nora Ephron

"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that
you are wonderful."
-- Ann Landers

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should
relax and get used to the idea."
-- Robert A. Heinlein

"In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance,
everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that
will ignore him."
-- Dereke Bruce, Taipei, Taiwan

"Of all the things I miss from veterinary practice, puppy breath
is one of the most fond memories!"
-- Dr. Tom Cat

"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your
face."
-- Ben Williams

"When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem."
-- Edward Abbey

"Cat's motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to
make it look like the dog did it."
-- Unknown

"Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag
of his tail."
-- Unknown

"No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation
as the dog does."
-- Christopher Morley

"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he
loves himself."
-- Josh Billings

"Man is a dog's idea of what God should be."
-- Holbrook Jackson

"The average dog is a nicer person than the average person."
-- Andrew A. Rooney

"He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You
are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful
and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be
worthy of such devotion."
-- Unknown

"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will
not bite you;  that is the principal difference between a dog and
a man."
-- Mark Twain

"Things that upset a terrier may pass virtually unnoticed by a
Great Dane."
-- Smiley Blanton

"I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly vanishing look of
amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think
humans are nuts."
-- John Steinbeck


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Internet: gapope@vcn.bc.ca
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B)If you DO like a joke, say thank-you with 2-3 jokes of your own! :)

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