Text 4521, 780 rader
Skriven 2006-06-20 15:31:00 av George Pope (3445.funny)
Kommentar till text 4461 av Greg Sears (1:153/7715.0)
Ärende: Re: Doctors in groups
=============================
GS> Two groups of people are sitting in a pub a bloke walks in and says to
GS> the first group... "you lot..your bastards".
GS>
GS> Walks up to the other group and says.. "and you lot...you're wankers."
GS> A bloke stands up and shouts.. "oy...i'm not a bastard..."
GS>
GS> "Well, get over there with the gays"
When did wanker become a synonym for a gay?
Last I heard a wanker was a masturbator & a gay was a fudge-packer &/or
knob-gobbler/sausage-smoker!
Wanking:
The Canonical List of Different Ways to Say "Masturbation"
************************************************************
audition the finger puppets
backstroke roulette
bash the candle
be a virtuoso of the skin flute
beat off
beat the bishop
beat the dummy
beat the meat
beat the stick
beat up your date
beef-stroke-it-off
bleed the weed
blow your load
bludgeon the beefsteak
bop the baloney
box the Jesuit and get cockroaches
boxing the bald champ
buff the banana
burp the baby
burp the worm
butter the corn
choke Kojak
choke the chicken
choke the sheriff and wait for the posse to come
clamp the pipe
clean your rifle
climb Mount Baldy
closet Frisbee
come into your own
cook the cream of cock
corral the tadpoles
couch hockey for one
crank the shank
crimp the wire
crown the king
cuff the carrot
diddle
do a hand job
do battle with the Purple Helmeted Warrior of Love
do handiwork
do the janitor thing
drain the monster
engage in safe sex
fist ****
fist your mister
five knuckle shuffle
flog the dog
flog the dong
flog the hog
flog your mule
fondle the fig
friggit
gallup the antelope
genitalic stimulation via phallengetic motion
get a date with Slick Mittens
get the German soldier marching
get to know yourself
give it a tug
go a couple of rounds with ol' josh
go on a date with Handrea and Palmela
grease the pipe
hack the hog
have a conversation with the one-eyed trouser snake
have a date with Fisty Palmer
have a date with Rosie Palm and her five sisters
have a J. Arthur (British special, after J. Arthur Rank, it's rhyming
slang)
have it off
have sex with someone you love
hitchhike to heaven
hitchhike under the big top
hold the sausage hostage
hug the hog
hump your hose
jack hammer
jack off
jazz yourself
jerk off
jerkin' the Gherkin
juggling the coullions
meat with Mother Thumb and her four daughters
knuckle shuffle on the ol' piss pump
launching the rocket skyward
lope the mule
make instant pudding
make the bald man puke
mangle the midget
manipulate the mango
manual override
master bacon
meet Rosie Hancock
milk the cow
milk the lizard
mount a corporal and four
nerk your throbber
null the void
oil the glove
onan's olympics
pack your palm
paddle the pickle
paint the ceiling
paint the pickle
peel the banana
peel some chilies
perform diagnostics on your ManTool
play a little five-on-one
play in a one-man show
play five against one
play pocket pinball
play pocket pool
play tug-of-war with the cyclops
play Uno
please your pisser
plunk your twanger
polish Percy in your palm
polish the family jewels
polish the rocket
polish the sword
pound off
pound the bald-headed moose
pound the pud
pound your flounder
pull off
pull rank
pull the carrot
pull the cord
pull the five-knuckle shuffle
pull the goalie
pull the pole
pull the pope
pull your prick
pull your taffy
pump the python
punchin' the munchkin
ram the ham
ride the great white knuckler
roll your own
rope the pony
rope the pope
rub off
rub one out
run off a batch by hand
sacrifice sperm to the god of lonely nights
scour the tower of power
self abuse
self-induced penile regurgitation
shag
shake hands with the unemployed
shake hands with your John Thomas
shake hands with your wife's best friend
shemp the hog
shift gears
shine the helmet
shine your pole
shoot putty at the moon
shoot skeet (pull...shoot)
shoot the moon
slakin' the bacon
slam the ham
slam the spam
slammin' the salmon
slap high fives with Yul Brynner
slap the carrot, slap the clown
slap the donkey
slap the pud
slap the salami
slappin' pappy
sling the jelly
snap the monkey
snap the rubber
snap the whip
solo sex
spank the frank
spank the monkey
spank the salami
squeeze the cheese
squeeze the juice
stinky pinky
stir the yogurt
stoke it
stroke it
stroke off
stroke the one-eyed burping gecko
stroke the dog
stroke the satin-headed serpent
stroke your poker
take matters into your own hands
take the monster for a one-armed ride
take part in population control
tease the weenie
tenderize the tube steak
test the testicles
test your batteries
the art of Unisex
tickly my fancy
tickle the pickle
toss off
toss the turkey
twang the wire
thump the pump
tweak your twinkie
varnish the flagpole
wack the one-eyed worm
wack the weasel
wack the willie
walk the dog
walk the plank
wank
wax the carrot
wax the dolphin
wax your surfboard
whack off
whip off
whip the dummy
whip the wire
whip up some sour cream
whip your dripper
whizzin' jism
wixen
wonk your conker
work off
wrestle the eel
wring out your rope
wrist aerobics
yank off
yank the crank
yank your plank
yank the yoyo
Now for GOOD sex, you need the proper tools. . .
My favourite is:
ace
ace of spades
Adam's own
affair
affairs
alcove
almanach
altar of Hymen
altar of love
aphrodisiacal tennis court
ass
baby-maker
bag
bank
Bat Cave
bazoo
beauty-spot
beaver
bee-hive
belly-dale
belly-dingle
belly-entrance
Berkeley
Berkeley Hunt
Berkshire Hunt
bile
bimbo
bird
bit
bite
bit of jam
bit on a fork
black Bess
black-hole
black-jock
black joke
black-ring
Bluebeard's closet
bob-and-hit
bombo
boody
bore
bottomless-pit
x-unseen
brat-getting place
breach
bread
bread-winner
broom
brown-jock
brown madam
Brown Miss
Buckinger's boot
budget
bull's eye
bumbo
bum fiddle
bum-shop
bun
bungalow
bunny
bush
Bushy Park
business
butcher's shop
butter-boat
buttonhole
C.
cabbage
cabbage-field
cabbage-garden
cabbage-patch
cake
can
candlestick
Cape Horn
Cape of Good Hope
carnal trap
case
cat
catch-'em-alive-o
cat's-head-cut-open
cat's meat
cauliflower
cave
cave of harmony
caze
cellar
cellar-door
ter of attraction
center of bliss
central furrow
central office
certificate of birth
Charley
Charley Hunt
chat
chimney
chink
chocha
chuff box
chum
churn
circle
civet
claff
cleft
cleft of flesh
clock
cloven spot
cloven tuft
cock
cock-alley
cock-hall
cock-holder
cock-inn
cock-lane
cock-loft
cockpit
cockshire
cockshy
coffee house
coffee-shop
cogie
commodity
concern
contrapunctum
conundrum
cony
cooch
cookie
collie-do
coosie
coot
cooze
coozie
corner
cornucopia
ler
coyote
crack
cradle
cranny
cream-jug
crease
crevice
crinkum-crankum
crotch
crown and feathers
crumpet
cuckoo's nest
cunnicle
cunnikin
Cupid's hotel
daisy
dead-end street
dearest bodily part
den
dicky-dido
diddle
diddly-pout
dilbery-bush
dimple
divine monosyllable
divine scar
doodle-case
doodle-sack
dormouse
downy-bit
drain
dumb-glutton
dumb-squint
duster
dyke
eel-skinner
everlasting wound
Eve's custom-house
eye that weeps most when best pleased
factotum
fan
fancy-bit
y
fanny-artful
fanny-fair
fart-Daniel
faucet
female pudend
female pudendum
female verenda
fetus cannon
fiddle
fie-for-shame
fig
firelock
fireplace
fish
fish-pond
flap
flap-doodle
flat cock
fleshly-idol
fleshly-part
flutter
flower
flower of chivalry
flusey
fly-by-night
fly-cage
fly-catcher
fly-trap
fobus
fool-trap
forecaster
forecastle
fore-court
forehatch
fore-room
fore-woman
fornicator's hall
fort
Fort Bushy
fortress
fountain of life
fountain of love
free-fishery
front-attic
t-dor
front-garden
front-gut
front-parlor
front-window
fruitful vine
fuckhole
funniment
funny bit
fur
furrow
futy
futz
gallimaufrey
gap
gape
gaper
Garden of Eden
gash
gasp and grunt
gate
gate-of-horn
gate-of-life
gate-of-plenty
gear
generating place
gentleman's pleasure-garden
geography
gig
gigi
gimcrack
girl street
goat-milker
goldfinch's nest
gravy-giver
gravy-maker
green-grocery
greenn meadow
grey-jock
grindstone
grotto
grove of eglantine
grown
grumble and grunt
ummet
gully
gully-hole
gut-entrance
gutter
gymnasium
gyvel
hairburger
hair-court
hair-pie
hairy axe wound
hairyfordshire
hairy oracle
hairy-ring
half-moon
handle for the broom
happy hunting-grounds
happy valley
harbour
harbour of hope
hat
hatchway
hey-nonny-nonny
hive
hog eye
hogstye of Venus
hole
hole of content
hole of holes
holloway
Holy of Holies
home sweet home
hone
honey-pot
hoop
horse collar
horseshoe
hortus
hot beef
hot-box
hotel
hot meat
hot mutton
house of security
e under the hill
housewife
hypogastric-cranny
India
ineffable
ingle-nook
instrument
intercrural trench
Irish fortune
it
itcher
itching jenny
ivory gate
jack nasty-face
Jack Straw's castle
Jacob's ladder
jam
jam-pot
jaxy
jazz
jelly
jelly bag
jelly-roll
jewel
jewelry
jig
jigger
jiggumbob
jing-jang
jock
Joe Hunt
kam
kaze
keester
keifer
kennel
kettle
keyhole
keystone of live
kitchen kitty
knick-knack
ladder
Lady Berkeley
lady-flower
Lady Jane
lady-star
lamp of love
lapland
lather-maker
leading article
leak
lea-rigs
leather
limbo
little Mary
little sister
living fountain
lob's pound
lobster-pot
lock
locker
long-eye
love chamber
love-lane
love-pad
love's channel
love's fountain
love's harbour
love's paradise
love's pavilion
low-countries
lower-wig
lowlands
luck-bag
lute
machine
maddikin
madge
magnet
magpie's nest
main avenue
main vein
malkin
mangle
manhole
mantrap
marble-arch
mark of the beast
Mary Jane
masterpiece
match
te
matrix
mawkin
meat
meat-cooker
meat-grinder
meat-market
medlar
melting-pot
merkin
Mickey Mouse
middle-gate
middle kingdom
midlands
milker
milking-pail
milk-jug
milk-pan
mill
millner's shop
milt-market
milt-shop
mine-of-pleasure
minky
miraculous-cairn
Miss Brown
Miss Norner
Miss Laycock
modesty
modicum
molly's-hole
money
money-box
monkey
mons meg
moosey
mortar
moss-rose
mossy-cell
mother of all saints
mother of all souls
Mount Pleasant
mouse
mouser
mouse-trap
mouth-thankless
h-that-cannot-bite
mouth that says no words about it
muff
muliebria
mumble-peg
mushroom
mustard-pot
motton
naf
naggie
name-it-not
nameless
natura
naturalia
nature
nature's tufted-treasure
naughty
nautch
needle-book
needle-case
nest
nest of spicery
nether end
nether-eye
Netherlands
nether lips
niche
niche-cock
nick
nick-in-the-notch
nick-nack
nock-andro
nonesuch
nonny-nonny
nooker
nooky
notch
novelty
number nip
nursery oat-bin
O.B.H.
old ding
old hat
old lady
ossyface
old thing
old wife
old woman
omnibus
open C.
oracle
orange
orchard
organ-grinder
orifice
ornament
oven
oyster
oyster-catcher
palace of pleasure
pan
pancake
pannier
paradise
Your Moderator and all-round friend/servant,
|<+]::-{)} ("Cyberpope")
Internet: gapope@vcn.bc.ca
1)If you don't like a joke, post 2-3 examples of what you DO like!
B)If you DO like a joke, say thank-you with 2-3 jokes of your own! :)
(AKA the Bishop of ROM!)
... nfx v3.1
--- SBBSecho 2.11-Win32
* Origin: Time Warp of the Future BBS - Home of League 10 (1:14/400)
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