Tillbaka till svenska Fidonet
English   Information   Debug  
FIDO_SYSOP   12841
FIDO_UTIL   0/180
FILEFIND   0/209
FILEGATE   0/212
FILM   0/18
FNEWS_PUBLISH   4155
FN_SYSOP   41520
FN_SYSOP_OLD1   71952
FTP_FIDO   0/2
FTSC_PUBLIC   0/13557
FUNNY   0/4886
GENEALOGY.EUR   0/71
GET_INFO   105
GOLDED   0/408
HAM   0/16041
HOLYSMOKE   0/6791
HOT_SITES   0/1
HTMLEDIT   0/71
HUB203   466
HUB_100   264
HUB_400   39
HUMOR   0/29
IC   0/2851
INTERNET   0/424
INTERUSER   0/3
IP_CONNECT   719
JAMNNTPD   0/233
JAMTLAND   0/47
KATTY_KORNER   0/41
LAN   0/16
LINUX-USER   0/19
LINUXHELP   0/1155
LINUX   0/22002
LINUX_BBS   0/957
mail   18.68
mail_fore_ok   249
MENSA   0/341
MODERATOR   0/102
MONTE   0/992
MOSCOW_OKLAHOMA   0/1245
MUFFIN   0/783
MUSIC   0/321
N203_STAT   894
N203_SYSCHAT   313
NET203   321
NET204   69
NET_DEV   0/10
NORD.ADMIN   0/101
NORD.CHAT   0/2572
NORD.FIDONET   189
NORD.HARDWARE   0/28
NORD.KULTUR   0/114
NORD.PROG   0/32
NORD.SOFTWARE   0/88
NORD.TEKNIK   0/58
NORD   0/453
OCCULT_CHAT   0/93
OS2BBS   0/787
OS2DOSBBS   0/580
OS2HW   0/42
OS2INET   0/37
OS2LAN   0/134
OS2PROG   0/36
OS2REXX   0/113
OS2USER-L   207
OS2   0/4779
OSDEBATE   0/18996
PASCAL   0/490
PERL   0/457
PHP   0/45
POINTS   0/405
POLITICS   0/29554
POL_INC   0/14731
PSION   103
R20_ADMIN   1117
R20_AMATORRADIO   0/2
R20_BEST_OF_FIDONET   13
R20_CHAT   0/893
R20_DEPP   0/3
R20_DEV   399
R20_ECHO2   1379
R20_ECHOPRES   0/35
R20_ESTAT   0/719
R20_FIDONETPROG...
...RAM.MYPOINT
  0/2
R20_FIDONETPROGRAM   0/22
R20_FIDONET   0/248
R20_FILEFIND   0/24
R20_FILEFOUND   0/22
R20_HIFI   0/3
R20_INFO2   2632
R20_INTERNET   0/12940
R20_INTRESSE   0/60
R20_INTR_KOM   0/99
R20_KANDIDAT.CHAT   42
R20_KANDIDAT   28
R20_KOM_DEV   112
R20_KONTROLL   0/13030
R20_KORSET   0/18
R20_LOKALTRAFIK   0/24
R20_MODERATOR   0/1852
R20_NC   76
R20_NET200   245
R20_NETWORK.OTH...
...ERNETS
  0/13
R20_OPERATIVSYS...
...TEM.LINUX
  0/44
R20_PROGRAMVAROR   0/1
R20_REC2NEC   534
R20_SFOSM   0/340
R20_SF   0/108
R20_SPRAK.ENGLISH   0/1
R20_SQUISH   107
R20_TEST   2
R20_WORST_OF_FIDONET   12
RAR   0/9
RA_MULTI   106
RA_UTIL   0/162
REGCON.EUR   0/2055
REGCON   0/13
SCIENCE   0/1206
SF   0/239
SHAREWARE_SUPPORT   0/5146
SHAREWRE   0/14
SIMPSONS   0/169
STATS_OLD1   0/2539.065
STATS_OLD2   0/2530
STATS_OLD3   0/2395.095
STATS_OLD4   0/1692.25
SURVIVOR   0/495
SYSOPS_CORNER   0/3
SYSOP   0/84
TAGLINES   0/112
TEAMOS2   0/4530
TECH   0/2617
TEST.444   0/105
TRAPDOOR   0/19
TREK   0/755
TUB   0/290
UFO   0/40
UNIX   0/1316
USA_EURLINK   0/102
USR_MODEMS   0/1
VATICAN   0/2740
VIETNAM_VETS   0/14
VIRUS   0/378
VIRUS_INFO   0/201
VISUAL_BASIC   0/473
WHITEHOUSE   0/5187
WIN2000   0/101
WIN32   0/30
WIN95   0/4275
WIN95_OLD1   0/70272
WINDOWS   0/1517
WWB_SYSOP   0/419
WWB_TECH   0/810
ZCC-PUBLIC   0/1
ZEC   4

 
4DOS   0/134
ABORTION   0/7
ALASKA_CHAT   0/506
ALLFIX_FILE   0/1313
ALLFIX_FILE_OLD1   0/7997
ALT_DOS   0/152
AMATEUR_RADIO   0/1039
AMIGASALE   0/14
AMIGA   0/331
AMIGA_INT   0/1
AMIGA_PROG   0/20
AMIGA_SYSOP   0/26
ANIME   0/15
ARGUS   0/924
ASCII_ART   0/340
ASIAN_LINK   0/651
ASTRONOMY   0/417
AUDIO   0/92
AUTOMOBILE_RACING   0/105
BABYLON5   0/17862
BAG   135
BATPOWER   0/361
BBBS.ENGLISH   0/382
BBSLAW   0/109
BBS_ADS   0/5290
BBS_INTERNET   0/507
BIBLE   0/3563
BINKD   0/1119
BINKLEY   0/215
BLUEWAVE   0/2173
CABLE_MODEMS   0/25
CBM   0/46
CDRECORD   0/66
CDROM   0/20
CLASSIC_COMPUTER   0/378
COMICS   0/15
CONSPRCY   0/899
COOKING   27601
COOKING_OLD1   0/24719
COOKING_OLD2   0/40862
COOKING_OLD3   0/37489
COOKING_OLD4   0/35496
COOKING_OLD5   9370
C_ECHO   0/189
C_PLUSPLUS   0/31
DIRTY_DOZEN   0/201
DOORGAMES   0/1974
DOS_INTERNET   0/196
duplikat   5999
ECHOLIST   0/18295
EC_SUPPORT   0/318
ELECTRONICS   0/359
ELEKTRONIK.GER   1534
ENET.LINGUISTIC   0/13
ENET.POLITICS   0/4
ENET.SOFT   0/11701
ENET.SYSOP   33773
ENET.TALKS   0/32
ENGLISH_TUTOR   0/2000
EVOLUTION   0/1335
FDECHO   0/217
FDN_ANNOUNCE   0/7068
FIDONEWS   23439
FIDONEWS_OLD1   0/49742
FIDONEWS_OLD2   0/35949
FIDONEWS_OLD3   0/30874
FIDONEWS_OLD4   0/37224
Möte FUNNY, 4886 texter
 lista första sista föregående nästa
Text 4550, 108 rader
Skriven 2006-07-06 23:53:39 av Greg Sears
     Kommentar till en text av George Pope
Ärende: A Pope-pusher!
======================
G-day Mate,

Your spring has come and gone into summer here are 2 1   T H I N G S
       Y O U   N E V E R  K N E W   A B O U T   Y O U R  S P R I N G


 1. Spring is the traditional season for cutting the lawn.  However, as
    a way of avoiding gardening for the rest of the year, why not
    accidentally run that poorly maintained Hover Mover over your foot -
    thereby severing a toe or two.

 2. Spring is also the time to do numerous other jobs in the garden,
    although frankly I'd just cover the lot in concrete if I were you,
    thus saving hours of back breaking work and several toes.

 3. Spring can also mean "to rise rapidly or suddenly leap into the
    air". On a fine spring morning, as you are busy concreting your
    garden, someone is bound to say to you "Lovely morning, Spring in
    the air".  Why not turn this comment into a highly amusing joke by
    springing a few inches a few inches of the ground.  Expect to be
    punched in the face though.

 4. Try jumping on a dog with floppy ears and you probably won't rise
    "very rapidly" at all.  That's because a Springer Spaniel is a
    fluffy haired pet with a happy independent nature.  And not as is
    widely believed, a makeshift trampoline.

 5. Due to the nature of the climate at this time of the year, it is
    particularly important to give all metal springs a quick once over
    with the old oil can.  Hence the term Spring Cleaning.

 6. Don't forget to clean all the following - Mattress springs, car
    suspension springs, all springs in retractable biros, spring
    balances, spring onions and all Bruce Springsteen records.

 7. Spring was a character in the erstwhile cult T.V.  series "The
    Double Deckers" A series which encouraged children to play on old
    deserted public service vehicles.  It was taken off the air due to a
    50% increase in adolescent mortality, largely involving fatal
    accidents with bus gear shift mechanisms.

 8. Spring was also the name of the lead singer of The Police, who went
    on to be concerned about the rain forest, and to make crap jazzy pop
    records.  If you ask me, he never topped that line in "Walking on
    the Moon" which goes " I hope my leg don't break, walking on the
    Moon".

 9. If your leg did break while you were walking on the Moon, at least
    it would get you out of the gardening for a bit.

10. Its also a little known fact that the problem of the rain forests
    could be solved in one fell swoop if they were simply concreted
    over.

11. The Christian festival of Easter occurs in Spring.  It celebrates
    the day that Jesus Christ went into the wilderness with five loaves
    and two fishes for forty days and forty nights.  When he returned he
    had changed the loaves into wine and the fishes into chocolate eggs
    containing smarties.

12. Legend has it that after his death, Jesus resurrected himself, moved
    a huge boulder blocking his tomb and legged it.  Which by
    comparison, makes Paul Daniels efforts look a little on the tame
    side.

13. The feat was even more remarkable considering our Jesus managed to
    do it entirely without the aid of Debbie McGee.

14. But to be sensible for a moment, the true story of Easter is that
    Jesus was crucified on Good Friday, but by the morning of Easter
    Sunday, his body had mysteriously risen.  He was nowhere to be seen.

15. Perhaps he wanted to make an early start to avoid the Bank Holiday
    traffic.

16. Going back to number 13, we've decided that we'd definitely give her
    one - that Debbie McGee.

17. At Lent, tradition says that you're supposed to starve yourself for
    40 days and 40 nights.  A practice that a certain young female
    singing star went on to make a career out of.

18. LENT was originally known as STOLEN until the lawnmower was returned
    to Bethlehem CID with an apologetic note.

19. Palm Sunday was so named after the Festival of Palms in which
    prostitutes were obliged to give free hand jobs to all and sundry.

20. Likewise "Fellatio Wednesday".

21. Spring is the time when "the sap rises" and a young man's fancy
    turns to the top shelf of a newsagent's shop.  Perhaps young men
    should find activities that are less likely to damage their vision.
    Like concreting their gardens.



Cheers,
.            o      _      _          _ From the
.   _o      /\_    _ \o   (@)\__/o   (@)      I C E-man
. _< \_    _>(@)  (@)/<_     \_| \    _|/' \/
.(@)>(@)  (@)         (@)    (@)     (@)'  _\o_ OUCH!

... +++++++++++++++ i DRiNK t8 make 8+hEr peoplE iNteReStiUG. ++++++++++++++
-=- MultiMail/Win32 v0.46

--- SLMAIL v5.1  (#SLO409KEDG15G098)
 * Origin: The Trashcan - The BEST rubbish * bbs.thenet.gen.nz  (3:772/210)