Text 6834, 61 rader
Skriven 2004-12-30 11:15:00 av Darryl Perry (1:106/324)
     Kommentar till en text av Sean Dennis
Ärende: Re: Rules of Southern living for Nawth'ners
===================================================
On 12-30-04, Sean Dennis said...
 
SD> 1) Don't order filet mignon or pasta primavera at Waffle House. It's just 
SD> diner. They serve breakfast 24 hours a day. Let them cook something they
SD> know. If you confuse them, they'll kick your ass.

I guess fine dining is out of the question in the southern states cuz all
they have is diners and barbques.

SD> 2) Don't laugh at our Southern names (Merleen, Bodie, Ovine, Luther Ray,
SD> Tammy Lynn, Darla Beth, Inez, Billy Joe, Sissy, Clovis, etc.), or we will
SD> just HAVE to kick your ass.

Just like they shouldn't laugh at 'Abernathy'.

SD> 4) We know our heritage. Most of us are more literate than you (e.g.,Welty
SD> Williams, Faulkner). We are also better educated and generally a lot nicer
SD> Don't refer to us as a bunch of hillbillies, or we'll kick your ass.

Eh, Clinton is a Rhodes Scholar.

SD> 5) We have plenty of business sense (e.g., Fred Smith of FedEx,Turner
SD> Broadcasting, MCI WorldCom, MTV, Netscape). Naturally, we do, sometimes,
SD> have small lapses in judgment (e.g., Carter, Edwards, Duke, Barnes,
SD> Clinton). We don't care if you think we are dumb. We are not dumb enough t
SD> let someone move to our state in order to run for the Senate. If someone
SD> tried to do that, we would kick their ass.

Didn't the GOP try to move in a Ringer to Chicago when Jack Ryan bowed out of
the senate race?  Who was that guy that ringer that they brought in?  I
can't remember, cuz they elected that other guy instead.

SD> 6) Don't laugh at our Civil War monuments. If Lee had listened to
SD> Longstreet and flanked Meade at Gettysburg instead of sending Pickett up
SD> the middle, you'd be paying taxes to Richmond instead of Washington. If yo
SD> visit Stone Mountain and complain about the carving, we'll kick your ass.

Wow!  Conservatives have a hard time living down a defeat?  I thought only
'liberals' had that problem.

SD> 12) Don't complain that the South is dirty and polluted. None of OUR lakes
SD> or rivers have caught fire recently. If you
SD> whine about OUR scenic beauty, we'll kick your ass all the way back to
SD> Boston Harbor.

I'm in awe of the scenic beauty of Pasadena, Texas, where the refinery
lights make the place look like christmas all year 'round.  And watch
out for the Galvaston beaches, where you might catch yourself the death of
flesh eating bacteria.

SD> 14) So you think we're quaint or losers because most of us live in the
SD> countryside? That's because we have enough sense to not live in filthy,
SD> smelly, crime-infested cesspools like New York or Newark. Make fun of our
SD> fresh air, and we'll kick your ass.

That's why Houston has more birth defects per-capita than California.

 gryphon o aka darryl perry o cyberia bbs o cyberia.darktech.org o mystic/lnx

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