Text 965, 71 rader
Skriven 2006-04-30 08:33:00 av MICHAEL LOO (1:123/140)
     Kommentar till en text av CAROL SHENKENBERGER
Ärende: ALDI-la 600
===================
 CS> Umm Michael, this is getting pretty constant isnt it?  I mean your
 CS> brother not  showing up or showing really late.  It doesnt seem to me
 CS> that he's being asked  to come more than twice a month and is late or a
 CS> no-show at the same rate? 

This is truth. 

 CS> I'd suggest not asking him to drive anymore or bring the food to
 CS> Dad's.  If he  shows up, enjoy it, but well....  Planning around him
 CS> seems from this mere  outsider, fairly unfunctional.

No problem, appreciate the feedback. But you haven't got the
full picture. Which is I spend 3-5 days a month there, and at
all other times my father (88 years old, a bit blinder than I am
and considerably lamer) has to rely on my brother (who LIVES AT
THE HOUSE, something you probably didn't pick up on because I
never mention him doing anything, because he doesn't do much most
of the time, except for the groceries) 100% for everything outside
the house. Plus, except for him (and Carol when she is here),
there's no auto transport - Uncle/cousin S.Y. can't drive, either,
and occasionally I lean on the next-door neighbors to drive, only
my father refuses to do this on his own. Taxis are expensive, and
though I can take the bus (1/4 mile away), getting my father
around on the bus is an impossibility.

In addition, there would be bad effects from disincluding my
brother. So one deals with his being impossibly late but tries
to alter his behavior by being suitably critical of it. Problem
is that both parents were critical of almost everything he ever
did, which means that he has a hard time picking up on the fact
that some criticisms are justified.

I agree that it sounds like he likes to put a monkey wrench
into other people's plans, whether consciously or not. It might
be any number of things, from an outlet of festering resentment
to simple selfish oblivion, to a ploy for attention, to a wish
to be acknowledged as indispensible. In any case, when he'd
call in late I used to just cancel the plans, but more recently
I've just taken advantage of other transportation options (taxis,
the neighbors, Carol) and said, okay, we're going anyway. So far
he's always managed to show up eventually, although always late.

 ML> Father insisted that I pick up the check. As I'll charge the
 ML> estate, it's not that big of a deal, but the gesture was
 ML> peculiar.
 CS> Grin, might have been miffed at your brother and making it obvious
 CS> that YOU are the one who cares.

Aah, my brother probably cares in his way but is stellarly inept
at doing anything about it. He's not evil, just incredibly dense
and quite self-absorbed, largely the fault of incredibly isolated
upbringing by aging parents (55 and 44 when he was born). Anyhow,
what comes out of my mother's estate is debiting the future of both
my brother and myself, so it's not, as I said, that big of a deal.

Monkey Wrench
cat: booze
servings: 1

1 1/2 oz light rum
3 oz grapefruit juice
1 ds bitters

Pour all of the ingredients into an old-fashioned glass
almost filled with ice cubes. Stir well.

monkeyday.com

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