Text 2566, 76 rader
Skriven 2005-09-16 07:07:44 av Greg Sears (3:633/104)
Ärende: BONE
============
.  o  _   From the Desk of Greg Sears AREA: F-UNNY
. Q\_|_)   --=[ I C E-man's FUNNY BONE Collection Book for ALL ]=--
. T> III                     Page: 17
 
                 Great Truths About Growing Old
 
         ____
       _[____]_   Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
        ( '7')
       __)(^_     Insanity is my only means of relaxation.
      / ,C^D,\
     / /||:||\\   Forget the health food. I need all the
     \ \|/:\|//      preservatives I can get.
      `\\~~~|/
     ,##\7|\ \    You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie
        |#| \ \      your shoes and wonder what else you can do
        |#| / /      while you're down there.
    jgs |#|/_/
        |#|\ \    You're getting old when you get the same sensation
        (#_\`'      from a rocking chair that you once got from a
                    roller coaster.
 
   Perhaps you know why women over fifty don't have babies: They
   would put them down somewhere and forget where they left them.
 
   One of life's mysteries is how a two pound box of candy can make
   a person gain five pounds.
 
   Every time I think about exercise, I lie down till the thought
   goes away.
                                                             ___
   God put me on earth to accomplish a certain number of    (___)
   things. Right now I am so far behind, I will live       /`   `\
   forever.                                               /  /"\  \
                                                          \_/o o\_/
   It's frustrating when you know all the answers,         (  _  )
   but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.             `\ /`
                                                           /\\V//\
   I finally got my head together, and my body fell       / /_ _\ \
   apart.                                                 \ \___/ /
                                                           \/===\/
   There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is      ||   ||
   already full.                                           ||   ||
                                                           ||___||
   Time may be a great healer, but it's also a lousy       |_____|
   beautician.                                          jgs  |||
                                                            / Y \
   The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight,     `"`"`
   because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.
 
   Age doesn't always bring wisdom.  Sometimes age comes alone.
 
   Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.
 
   Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain
   consciousness.
 
   Amazing! You just hang something in your closet for a while,
   and it shrinks two sizes.
 
   It is bad to suppress laughter; it goes back down and spreads
   to your hips.
 
   Freedom of the press means no-iron clothes.
 
   Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but
   they can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake.

         _                                                 _
        (_'------Suggest The Funny Bone To A Friend-------'_)
        (_.===============================================._)

 

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