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Text 3187, 101 rader
Skriven 2005-12-04 23:27:30 av Greg Sears (3:633/104)
     Kommentar till en text av George Pope
Ärende: Re: Pussy Pulchritude
=============================
            -=> George Pope wrote to all <=-

 GP> Little Johnny walks into the house after school and his father asks

         Santa Arrested In DC

        WASHINGTON, DC - District police arrested Santa last week
for disorderly conduct because "the Christmas Carols were too loud."
Santa claims that the police also roughed him up.  This being the 90's,
Santa intends to file a civil rights lawsuit.

        I think I know who Santa needs now!  Time for a song!

        Then one chilly winter night,
        Santa got a pop,
        You might say he had a fight,
        With a D.C. music cop!

        Johnny The Brown Nosed Lawyer,
        Had a very well-known face,
        And if he wore a ski-cap,
        You'd still know him any place!

> OBX-mas for our Moderator and all-round friend/servant

Now that the relatives have departed, I can sit back and
reflect on all the memorable moments of the Holiday Season.
        Here are my FAVORITE top ten Christmas Quotations

1.  My God, Ain't Sally, don't use the BUTTER KNIFE to spread that oleo
     on your own bread! Leave it on the butter plate!
2.  Why is it that **MY** children always has to drink out of
     the jelly glasses?
3.  I'd just love for all y'all to come to **MY** place next Christmas,
     but I'm afraid there ain't room for all of us in that little
     tiny trailer.
4.  Well, I got it at Sears.  If it don't fit, I'm sure they'll be glad
     to swap it for you for a larger size.  I just didn't realize you
     were wearing a ***24W*** already.
5.  What the hell am I supposed to do with T*H*I*S?  Didn't anybody git
     me any white socks?
6.  I don't EVER put olives on MY deviled eggs.  I just don't know why
     anybody would!  Chopper's allergic to olives, ain't you, Chopper?
     Why, yes, you are so! You are, too, allergic to olives!
7.  Who let that damn dog get into my box of petit-fours under the tree?
     I was gonna drop them by WyeVonne's. Miz Marshall down at the mill
     give all us girls a box.  WyeVonne wouldn't have never know'd where
     they come from.  Now I'm gonna haf' to give her my dusting powder.
8.  I see y'all still are devote's of arboreal sacrifice.  We've had an
     artificial tree for YEARS!
9.  Momma, why's Aint Bobbie making me eat off a plain plate?  Yores has
     got a Christmas tree on it!
10. Yep, I'd been sittin' 'air for three hours an' forty-two minutes,
     by my clock.  An' 'air he come!  ARE Y'ALL ALL LISTENIN' TO THIS?
     I got him right t'air in the cross hairs.
     I pull the trigger, and ----- S*P*L*A*T!  !!!
     Bye-bye, Bambi.  ... Pass me some more of that venison, R.J.
                                        (c) 1995 Lee Bradley.

This copyrighted text may be reproduced and distributed, without changes,
at your pleasure, as long as this notice remains attached and intact.
 lbradley@grits.valdosta.peachnet.edu


> OBX-mas for Mr. <+]::-) ("Cyberpope")

                A JEWISH CHRISTMAS EVE

 'Twas the night before christmas, and we, being Jews,
  My girlfriend and me - we had nothing to do.
 The gentiles were home, hanging stockings with care,
  Secure in their knowledge St. Nick would be there.
 But for us, once the Chanukah candles burned down,
  There was nothing but boredom all over town.
 The malls and the theaters were all closed up tight;
  There weren't any concerts to go to that night.
 A dance would have saved us, some ballroom or swing,
  But we searched through the papers; there wasn't a thing.
 Outside the window sat 2 feet of snow;
  With the windchill, they said, it was 15 below.
 And while all I could do was sit there a brood,
  My girl saved the night and called out: "CHINESE FOOD!"
 So we ran to the closet, grabbed hats, mitts and boots -
  To cover out heads, our hands and our foots.
 We pulled on our jackets, all puffy with down,
  And boarded the T bound for old Chinatown.
 The train nearly empty, it rolled through the stops,



        -=-                          -=-
     (\  _  /)                    (\  _  /)
     ( \( )/ )     I C E-man      ( \( )/ )
     (       )    Wishes You      (       )
      `>   <'  Seasons Greetings   `>   <'
      /     \    09 December 05    /     \
      `-._.-'                      `-._.-'
 

--- EzyBlueWave V2.01b006 00F90257
 * Origin: Afraid of the competition? We ARE the Competition! (3:633/104)