Text 3495, 227 rader
Skriven 2006-02-11 22:53:38 av Greg Sears (3:633/104)
     Kommentar till en text av George Pope
Ärende: Re: Ha ha
=================
 Echo: FUNNY
 Date: 09-Feb-2006 10:47
 Read:" Ha ha "
 George Pope Put A SMILE on Greg Sears's  DIAL #[:-)] 

 GS>   Old man Baumgarten was depressed. Once again, after thirty-two
   > years of marriage, he had forgotten his wife's birthday. Contrite, he
   > rushed home and took her by the hands. Looking deep into her faded eyes,
   > Papa Baumgarten said, "Sadie, I will make it all up to you. Tell me, and
   > forgive me my absentmindedness, what is your favorite flower?"
   >   "As if yhou didn't know, Papa, after all these years!__It's
   > Pillsbury, of course!"

 GP> He also forgot the perfect fixer-upper for a forgotten birthday:

 George Pope, Have you read this one. . . .

A Dentist is a person who:

  -always bores you to tears.

  -always tries to pull a fast one.

  -dents things.

  -finds work for his own teeth by taking out those of others.

  -gets paid for boring you.

  -gives you a pain that drives you to extraction.

  -grinds out a day's work.

  -is a bridge builder.

  -is always getting on your nerve.

  -is always looking down in the mouth.

  -is called a 2th doc.

  -lives from hand to mouth.

  -nobody wants to see more than twice a year.

  -only pulls the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth.

  -repairs broken bridges.

  -runs a filling station.

  -thinks a tooth is stronger than a friction.

  -tickles your ivories.

  -will give you the drill of your life.


> OBJoke: for our Moderator and all-round friend/servant

A Doctor is a person who:

  -is familiar with many tongues.

  -enjoys poor health.

  -is ready to lend you a healthing hand.

  -is required by law to know all about women.

  -suffers from good health...in his community.

  -you stick your tongue out to.

> OBJoke: for Mr. <+]::-) ("Cyberpope")

A Bachelor is a man who:

  -always aims to squeeze.

  -always went on double dates in college.

  -avoids bride-eyed women.

  -believes in life, liberty and the happiness of pursuit.

  -believes in wine, women and so-long.

  -believes that one can live as cheaply as two.

  -can forget his mistakes.

  -can get into bed from either side.

  -can go fishing anytime, until he gets hooked.

  -can have a girl on his knee without having her on his hands.

  -can leave his socks and wallet lying around the house.

  -can open his wallet without turning his head.

  -can take a nap on top of the bedspread.

  -can tell his symptoms to his doctor without having his wife
   interrupt.

  -can use his home phone whenever he wants.

  -can't be spouse-broken.

  -can't stand the strain of a wife.

  -cheated some woman out of a divorce.

  -comes to work every morning from a different direction.

  -doesn't get around to marrying.  He just gets around.

  -doesn't have to leave the party when he starts having a good time.

  -expects to marry just as soon as he finds a girl who loves him
   as much as he loves himself.

  -failed to embrace his opportunities.

  -gets tangled up with a lot of women in order to avoid getting tied
   down to one.

  -is a free male.

  -is a permanent temptation.

  -is a rolling stone that gathers no boss.

  -is allergic to wedding cakes.

  -is crazy to get married and knows it.

  -is foot-loose and family-free.

  -is known as a dame dropper.

  -is looking for a date with no apron attached.

  -is never miss-taken.

  -is not missing anything in life except a few buttons on his shirt.

  -knows all the ankles.

  -knows how to hold a woman's hand so that she doesn't get a grip on
   him.

  -knows if he has a steady girl on the string he may wind up on a
   leash.

  -knows more about women than men.  That's why he is a bachelor.

  -leans toward a woman but not far enough to fall.

  -likes his girl friend just the way she is...single!!!!

  -looks, but does not leap.

  -never chases a woman he couldn't outrun.

  -never knows whom the next kiss is coming from.

  -never makes the same mistake once.

  -never met a girl he couldn't live without.

  -never Mrs. anything.

  -never says, "I'll give you a ring tomorrow!"

  -plays the game of love and manages to retain his amateur Outanding.

  -prefers ripe tomatoes with little dressing.

  -thinks he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever.

  -travels fastest in a parked car.

  -tries to avoid the issue.

  -usually has his hands full trying to loosen a woman's grip.

  -wakes up in the morning with all of the blankets.

  -washes only one set of dishes.

  -when a girl asks him for a diamond ring, he turns stone-deaf.

  -when he opens the window in his apartment, more dust blows out than
   in.

  -would rather mend his socks than his ways.

  -won't take `yes' for an answer.

  -would rather change girls than change their names.

  -would rather cook his own goose.

  -would rather have a woman on his mind than on his neck.

  -wouldn't change his quarter for a better half.

 GP>  * Origin: Time Warp of the Future BBS - Home of League 10 (1:14/400)

So tell Me Mate, this a new place for you? Been a while between stories!



    .-,--,--,--, ,,,
    (;          /;,;\       Stumbling into  BBs message echos
    (  ,'   ,  ~.@ @`'      to make other readers travels and
    (;\~w~~`~|;w`\v'  *     education reading poems and jokes
  ,,`w,,,,,,`w,,,,,,,\|/,,  for laughs and comment! I C E-man
  ////////////////////////

... Cool! I figured out the Sysop's passwor$>@7& NO CARRIER

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 * Origin: Afraid of the competition? We ARE the Competition! (3:633/104)