Text 4186, 101 rader
Skriven 2006-05-20 07:41:48 av Greg Sears (3:633/104)
     Kommentar till en text av George Pope
Ärende: Re: Laffaway
====================
 Echo: FUNNY
 Date: 12-May-2006 06:55
 Read:" Laffaway "
 George Pope Put A SMILE on all's  DIAL #[:-)] 

 GP> Mom walked into the bathroom one day and found young Johnny
   > furiously scrubbing his dick with a toothbrush and toothpaste.

 George Pope, Have you read this one. . . .

I've always been handy at fix-it jobs around the house and I've tried to
trainmy children to follow suit.

Recently one of my sons asked his wife to hold the flashlight while he
replaceda faulty electrical switch.

Only mildly interested, she asked him after a short pause, "How did you learnto
do this stuff?"

"By holding the flashlight," he replied.


> OBJoke: for our Moderator and all-round friend/servant

Down under......I went to see a specialist Doctor on referral. The nurse
askedme what medicines do you take.

I gave her My computer print-out list of all the regular medicines I take
forsurvival. She complemented me, "You are very well organised!" I said.
"No..,these days I  put nothing to memory, all on computer-paper." She
sympathisedand said she enjoyed patients like me.

The beautiful Sheila Doctor followed and put me on her table lying face up.With
her chest touching my head, me looking through her beautiful nose, face,breast
curvature and enjoying her smooth skin,  she did ultra sonic on Me. Shetold me,
"I C E-man, you have AADD." I asked her, "Doctor will I survive? Iheard of
AIDS, but what the hell was this AADD thingy?" She explained, "AgedAttention
Deficit Disorder." I asked her, "Doctor give IT to me straight. Am Idying?" She
laughed and said, "No but you have come to an age."

She was right. I had these following symptoms manifested:
I decide to water the garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I lookover
at my van and decide my van needs washing. As I start toward the garage,
Inotice that there is snail-mail on the porch table that I brought up from
themail box earlier that morning with Anne's newspaper. I decide to go through
themail before I washed the van. I lay my van keys down on the table, put the
junkmail in the garbage can under the table, and noticed that the can is full.
So,I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.
Butthen I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out
thegarbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first. I take my cheque book
offthe table, and see that there is only one cheque left. My extra cheques are
inmy desk by the computer in my office, so I go inside the house to my
officedesk where I find the can of Beer that I had been drinking. I'm going to
lookfor my cheques, but first I need to push the Beer aside so that I
don'taccidentally knock it over. I realise the Beer is getting warm, and I
decide Ishould put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold. As I head toward the
kitchenwith the Beer, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye--they
need to bewatered. I set the Beer down on the counter, and I discover my
reading glassesthat I've been searching for all morning. I decide I'd better
put them back onmy computer desk, but first I'm going to water Anne's flowers.
I set theglasses back down on the counter , fill a container with water and
suddenly Ispot the TV remote someone left on the kitchen table. I realise that
tonightwhen Anne watches Coronation Street on TV, I will be looking for the
remote,but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put
it backin the lounge where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers. I pour
somewater in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor. So, I set
theremote back down on the table, get some paper towels from under the bench
andwipe up  the spill. Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I
wasplanning to do today.

At the end of the day:
    The driveway is flooded
    The van isn't washed,
    The bills aren't paid,
    There is a warm can of Beer sitting on the counter,
    There is still only one cheque in my cheque book,
    I can't find my remote,
    I can't find my glasses, and
    I don't remember what I did with the van keys.
    Where the hell is MY Beer?

Then when I try to figure out why Anne said " You've got nothing done
today!!"I'm really baffled because I know I was busy as hell all day long, and
I'mreally tired. I realised this as a serious problem, and decided to come
toDoctor. But then I decided to check my E-mails and send some to friends
inCanada. I am on the computer and I don't remember why I am on the
damncomputer. Boy, I have come to an age in my life.



         ._ _.
 Cheers /(. .)\    )
  from    (*)____/Ý
  I       /       Ý
  C      /   Ý--\ Ý
  E-man (_)(_)  (_)  AWGTHTGTTSA

... Cool! I figured out the Sysop's passwor$>@7& NO CARRIER

--- EzyBlueWave V2.01b006 00F90257
 * Origin: Afraid of the competition? We ARE the Competition! (3:633/104)