Text 4455, 111 rader
Skriven 2006-06-14 18:16:06 av Greg Sears (1:153/7715.0)
   Kommentar till text 4434 av George Pope (1:153/715.1275)
Ärende: warnings from my life. .
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 BBS: The BandMaster, Vancouver, B.C., Canada
Date: 06-12-06 (23:37)             Number: 5368
From: GEORGE POPE                  Refer#: NONE
  To: ALL                           Recvd: NO
Subj: warnings from my life. .       Conf: (3) Funny
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GP>So years before the kiddies started piercing their genitalia to "be
  >different", I already had my body art project going -- I got Botox
  >injections in my scrotum, then I waxed it, so I have a hairless egg
  >down there now!

Ha ha haaaaaaaaa I knew the CyberPope was different EH!! ;-)))))

Can you tell everyone...........................................

What do electric train sets and women's breasts have in common?
Both were intended for kids, but it's the dads who play with them.

What is as big as a steam locomotive, but weighs nothing?
It's shadow.

Why is the track gauge 4' 8-1/2" wide?
Because it is the mean distance between the neck and ankles of damsels
in distress.

Why can't a steam locomotive sit down?
Because it has a tender behind and it's caboose is red.

How are steam locomotives and babies the same?
They both have a tender behind.

Why is the railroad angry?
Because people keep crossing it.

Why can't the engineer get electrocuted?
Because he is not a conductor.

What is a lawyer's favorite railroad?
The SOO line.

Why did sleeping car fares increase?
Because the berth rate went up.

Why don't elephants like to ride on trains?
Because they hate leaving their trunks in the baggage car.

How many conductors does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but it doesn't help, he punches a hole in the new one.


>OBJoke: for our Moderator and all-round friend/servant

  Date: 22 Aug 99  12:26:56
  From: Michael Trachtenberg

As a CPA with one of those "Big Five" firms for the past eight
years or so (at least for just a few more days), I can certainly
relate to this one.  I especially got a belly-laugh out of #7 and
#20.

Are you a prostitute or are you a consultant?

01.  You work very odd hours.
02.  You are paid a lot of money to keep your client happy.
03.  You are paid well but your pimp gets most of the money.
04.  You spend a majority of your time in a hotel room.
05.  You charge by the hour but your time can be extended.
06.  You are not proud of what you do.
07.  Creating fantasies for your clients is rewarded.
08.  It's difficult to have a family.
09.  You have no job satisfaction.
10.  If a client beats you up, the pimp just sends you to another
     client.
11.  You are embarrassed to tell people what you do for a living.
12.  People ask you, "What do you do?" and you can't explain it.
13.  Your client pays for your hotel room plus your hourly rate.
14.  Your client always wants to know how much you charge and what they
     get for the money.
15.  Your pimp drives nice cars like Mercedes or Jaguars.
16.  You know the pimp is charging more than you are worth but if the
     client is foolish enough to pay it's not your problem.
17.  When you leave to go see a client, you look great, but return
     looking like hell (compare your appearance on Monday AM to Friday
     PM).
18.  You are rated on your "performance" in an excruciating ordeal.
19.  Even though you might get paid the big bucks, it's the client who
     walks away smiling.
20.  The client always thinks your "cut" of your billing rate is higher
     than it actually is, and in turn, expects miracles from you.
21.  When you deduct your "take" from your billing rate, you constantly
     wonder if you could get a better deal with another pimp.


>OBJoke: for Mr. <+]::-{(} ("Cyberpope")

  Date: 24 Aug 99  06:36:00
  From: PATRICK LONG

An American is a fellow who drives home in a German car from a French
movie, slips off his Hong Kong suit and Italian shoes, puts on his
English robe and Mexican slippers and sips Brazilian coffee from Dutch
china while sitting  on Danish furniture.   Then he writes a letter to
his congressman on Canadian paper with a Japanese pen demanding that he
do something about all the gold that's leaving the country.


 * SLMR 2.1a * Cheers, I C E-man

--- Maximus 3.01
 * Origin: The BandMaster, Vancouver, B.C., Canada (1:153/7715)