Text 4876, 158 rader
Skriven 2007-07-16 04:22:00 av George Pope (316.funny)
   Kommentar till text 4873 av Lee Lofaso (313.funny)
Ärende: Ack! I'm here!
======================
LL> GP>BTW, the given here is that EVERY posting MUST include a funny joke
LL> GP>or story.
LL>
LL> But he did!  He did!  Making oneself a victim is a form of humor.
LL> Rodney "Gets No Respect" Dangerfield was the master of such humor.

Hmm. . . I suppose it depends if one considers Rodney Dangerfield funny, eh?

LL> George Bush I jumped out of an airplane to celebrate his 80th birthday.
LL> O.J. Simpson jumped out of the bushes to celebrate his (maybe I'd better
LL> not mention what anniversary he was celebrating).
LL>
LL> Does that count as an OJ joke?  I do admit it may have been in poor
LL> taste, but there are only so many OJ jokes that I know.  :)

And Justin Timberlake jumped out of the closet, right?

And I'm sad you're lacking OJ jokes. . .

So here's my ObJoke, of OJ:

 The perfect wedding gift for OJ and Paula?  His and hers matching
Ginsue
 knives of course.

 What did Nicole Simpson say to Ron Goldman before they died?
        You can eat my pussy but the "juice" will kill you!

        How does OJ Simpson change a lightbulb?
        "My client would like to answer that but doesn't want to
        waste the jury's time..."

        What has OJ vowed to do now that he's free?
        Hire a hitman to do any future killings.

        Did you hear OJ's going back to making movies?
        Yeah, he intends to carve out a career for himself.

        Did you hear about the new OJ doll coming onto the market?
        The price has already been slashed.

        What did Johnnie Cochran privately say about OJ?
        "He's such a cut-up..."

        What has 24 legs and 1 functioning brain cell?
        The OJ Simpson jury.

        Johnnie Cochran said, "If the glove don't fit, you must
        acquit." We say, "If money talks, then OJ walks."

        Money can so buy happiness. It's just spelled
        A-C-Q-U-I-T-T-A-L, that's all.

        That whirring sound you hear in your ears is Nicole
        turning over in her grave at the jury's verdict.

        OJ has learned a lot from this trial. If you're a rich,
        black man, you can kill as many white women as you want.

        Having heard the remarks the Dream Team of lawyers have
        been making about each other, I wondered why they don't
        just sue each other. Then I realized, OJ won't foot the
        bill for that.

        Why didn't OJ appear on NBC Dateline?
        He got a better interview offer from the Muppet Show.

        Did you hear Oj is doing comercials for hertz again. In his
        latest spot, he shows you how to rent a car and catch the plane
        with an hour to kill!

        Knock Knock.
        Who's there?
        OJ.
        OJ who?
        Good your on the jury.

        Mike Tyson was overheard saying that the best part of prison
        life was the freshly squeezed OJ he got for breakfast.

        What does OJ stand for?
                Orange jumpsuit.


             JOKEMASTER'S TOP 10 STRANGE THINGS
                          ABOUT THE O.J. TRIAL

10.   O.J. had to be acquitted in order for all the networks to have
ongoing
           series based on the subject.  Check your Fall listings.
  9.   Sales of the popular Isotoner gloves have increased 368%.
  8.   Release of the new "Bloodstained" Isotoner glove series has been
           announced in time for Christmas.
  7.   In honor of Judge Ito, Timex will release a new timepiece in the
           shape of an hourglass.  "We admit it's a bit hard to read
without
           numbers, but each grain of sand is numbered."
 6.    Psychic I. C. Stars, in his predictions for 1996, today
forecasted
           that O.J. would be acquitted next year.  When told that he
had
           already been acquitted, he stated, "I wasn't talking about
the
           Nicole/Goldman trial..."
 5.    When asked about the verdict, the O.J. jury admitted, "Oh, we
knew
           he did it.  But anyone who had to spend that much time with
           Cochran and Shapiro has paid his debt to society."
 4.    The limo driver who took O.J. to the airport was seen visiting
O.J.
           the other day. Sources state that he asked O.J., "What do
you want
           me to do with these bloody clothes and knife I found under
the
           seat?"
 3.    The first contact was made with alien life.  It was in the form
of
           a message: "Stop broadcasting the O.J. trial or we will be
forced
to
           retaliate."
 2.    O.J. is in negotiations with the networks about a made-for-TV
movie
           idea.  He claimed the concept came to him one day while he
was in
           court.  It's reported to be about a fictitious ex-football
star
           whose wife is murdered...

The strangest thing about the O.J. trial...

        The money O.J. spent on the "Dream Team" could wipe out the
           national debt.

Here's OJ's internet address in hex code:

      00 2F 2F 2F 2F 5C 7F 2D 0D 15 1B 19 24 24 24 18

      If you can't recall the translation, here it is:

      null character, slash, slash, slash, slash, backslash, rubout,
dash,
      carriage return, negative acknowledgement, escape, end of media,
      dollar sign, dollar sign, dollar sign, cancel



Your Moderator and all-round friend/servant,
|<+]::-{)} ("Cyberpope")
Internet: gapope@vcn.bc.ca
1)If you don't like a joke, post 2-3 examples of what you DO like!
B)If you DO like a joke, say thank-you with 2-3 jokes of your own! :)

(AKA the Bishop of ROM!)

... nfx v3.1 I'll have a steak sandwich...a porterhouse btwn 2 ribeyes!      
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 * Origin: Collin County Station (1:124/6308)