Text 4877, 225 rader
Skriven 2007-07-16 04:24:00 av George Pope (317.funny)
   Kommentar till text 4872 av Lee Lofaso (312.funny)
Ärende: Ack! I'm here!
======================
LL> "It's true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure,
LL> why take the chance?" - Ronald Reagan

I say the same thing, but nobody laughs, but I think that "Ronald Reagan" might
well count as a joke all on its own (not as much as "Michael Jackson" for
universality, of course, but we're lenient here in FUNNY!)

Yeah, oftimes, just leave the president alone enough to speak for himself, and
funny galore ensues. . .

Dubya (aka George Dumbya Shrub) Says:

  "Rarely is the question asked: is our children learning"
  --Florence, SC, Jan. 11, 2000 

  "Actually, I -- this may sound a little West Texan to you, but I like   
it. When I'm talking about -- when I'm talking about myself, and when 
he's talking about myself, all of us are talking about me."
  --Hardball, MSNBC, May 31, 2000 

  "It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it."
  --Reuters, May 5, 2000 

  "I think we agree, the past is over."
  --On his meeting with John McCain, Dallas Morning News, May 10, 2000 

  "Laura and I really don't realize how bright our children is sometime 
until we get an objective analysis."
  --Meet the Press, April 15, 2000 

  "I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to 
California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California."
  --Los Angeles Times, April 8, 2000 

  "We want our teachers to be trained so they can meet the obligations; 
their obligations as teachers. We want them to know how to teach the 
science of reading. In order to make sure there's not this kind of 
federal cufflink."
  --Fritsche Middle School, Milwaukee, March 30, 2000 

  "The fact that he relies on facts -- says things that are not factual -
- are going to undermine his campaign."
  --New York Times, March 4, 2000 

  "It is not Reaganesque to support a tax plan that is Clinton in 
nature."
  --Los Angeles, Feb. 23, 2000 

  "I understand small business growth. I was one."
  --New York Daily News, Feb. 19, 2000 

  "How do you know if you don't measure if you have a system that simply 
suckles kids through?"
  --Explaining the need for educational accountability, Beaufort, 
S.C.,Feb.16, 2000 

  "The senator has got to understand if he's going to have he can't have 
it both ways. He can't take the high horse and then claim the low road."
  --To reporters in Florence, S.C., Feb. 17, 2000 

  "If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and 
principles, come and join this campaign."
  --Hilton Head, S.C., Feb. 16, 2000 

  "We ought to make the pie higher."
  -South Carolina Republican Debate, Feb. 15, 2000 

  "I've changed my style somewhat, as you know. I'm less, I pontificate 
less, although it may be hard to tell it from this show. And I'm more 
interacting with people."
  --Meet The Press, Feb. 13, 2000 

  "The most important job is not to be governor, or first lady in my 
case."
  --Pella, Iowa, as quoted in the San Antonio Express News, Jan. 30, 
2000" 

  "This is Preservation Month. I appreciate preservation. It's what you 
do when you run for president. You gotta preserve."
  --Speaking during Perseverance Month at Fairgrounds Elementary School 
in Nashua, N.H. 

  "I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family."
  --Greater Nashua, N.H., Chamber of Commerce, Jan. 27, 2000 

  "This is still a dangerous world. It's a world of madmen and 
uncertainty and potential mental losses."
  --At a South Carolina oyster roast; quoted in the Financial Times, 
Jan.14, 2000 

  "There needs to be debates, like we're going through. There needs to 
be townhall meetings. There needs to be travel. This is a huge country."
  --Larry King Live, Dec. 16, 1999 

  "The important question is, How many hands have I shaked?"
   --Answering a question about why he hasn't spent more time in New 
Hampshire; quoted in the New York Times, Oct. 23, 1999 

  "Keep good relations with the Grecians."
  --Quoted in the Economist, June 12, 1999 

  "I don't remember debates. I don't think we spent a lot of time 
debating it. Maybe we did, but I don't remember."
  --On discussing the Vietnam War as an undergraduate at Yale, in the 
Washington Post, July 27, 1999 

  "Put the 'off' button on."
  --South Carolina, February 14, 2000 

  "I did denounce it. I de-I denounced it. I denounced interracial 
dating. I denounced anti-Catholic bigacy... bigotry."
  --Referring to his Bob Jones University visit and the subsequent 
criticism, Virginia, February 25, 2000 

  "We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor just like 
you like to be liked yourself."
  --George W. Bush puts an interesting twist on Jesus Christ's proverb: 
"Love thy neighbor." (Quote is from the Financial Times)

  "I would have said yes to abortion if only it was right. I mean, yeah 
it's right. Well no it's not right that's why I said no to it."
  --South Carolina, February 14,2000

  "My [tax cut] plan is realistic because it avoids meaningless 15-year 
projections."
  --George W. Bush goes to extraordinary lengths to defend his tax cut 
plan. (Quote is from a Bush speech in Iowa, 12/1/99)

  "The fundamental question is: 'Will I be a successful president when 
it comes to foreign policy?' I will be, but until I'm the president, 
it's going to be hard for me to verify that I think I'll be more 
effective."
  --New York Times, 7/28/99

  "There ought to limits to freedom"
  --at a Press conference at the Texas State House, May 21, 1999, 
referring to GWBush.com

  "We have struggle to not proceed but to preceed to the future of a 
nation's child."
  --Journal Gazette 11/12/00

  "My opponent seems to think that Social Security is a federal program. 
I believe that money is yours and you should be able to invest it 
yourself."
  -The final Presidential debate

  "Down in Washington they're playing with Social Security like it's 
some kind of government program!"
  -NBC Nightly News 

  "The reason we start a war is to fight a war, win a war, thereby 
causing no more war!"
  --The first Presidential debate

  "They said, 'You know, this issue doesn't seem to resignate [sic] with 
the people.' And I said, you know something? Whether it resignates [sic] 
or not doesn't matter to me, because I stand for doing what's the right
thing, and what the right thing is hearing the voices of people who 
work.
  --Portland, Ore., Oct. 31, 2000

  "It's your money. You paid for it."
  --LaCrosse, Wis., Oct. 18, 2000

  "It's important for us to explain to our nation that life is 
important. It's not only life of babies, but it's life of children 
living in, you know, the dark dungeons of the Internet.
  -Arlington Heights, Ill., Oct. 24, 2000

  "If affirmative action means what I just described, what I'm for, then 
I'm for it."
  --The Presidential Debates. St. Louis, Mo., October 18, 2000

  "It's going to require numerous IRA agents."
  --On Gore's tax plan, Greensboro, N.C., Oct. 10, 2000

  "I don't think we need to be subliminable [sic] about the differences 
between our views on prescription drugs."
  --Orlando, Fla., Sept. 12, 2000. He then repeatedly mispronounced the 
word after his press conference.

  "I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully"
  --Saginaw, Mich., Sept. 29, 2000

  "Will the highways on the Internet become more few?"
  --Concord, N.H., Jan. 29, 2000

  "They misunderestimated me."
  --Bentonville, Ark., Nov. 6, 2000

  "That's a chapter, the last chapter of the 20th, 20th, the 21st 
century that most of us would rather forget. The last chapter of the 
20th century. This is the first chapter of the 21st century."
  --On the Lewinsky scandal, Arlington Heights, Ill., Oct. 24, 2000"

  "Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream."
  --LaCrosse, Wis., Oct. 18, 2000"

  "There's a huge trust. I see it all the time when people come up to me
and say, 'I don't want you to let me down again.'"
  -- Boston, Massachusetts, October 3, 2000

  "I think if you know what you believe, it makes it a lot easier to 
answer questions. I can't answer your question"
  --Reynoldsburg, Ohio, October 4, 2000

  "You teach a child to read and he or her will be able to pass a 
literacy test."
  --February 21, 2001 - President Bush at Townsend Elementary School,  
touting his education reform plans. 



Your Moderator and all-round friend/servant,
|<+]::-{)} ("Cyberpope")
Internet: gapope@vcn.bc.ca
1)If you don't like a joke, post 2-3 examples of what you DO like!
B)If you DO like a joke, say thank-you with 2-3 jokes of your own! :)

(AKA the Bishop of ROM!)

... nfx v3.1                                                                 
--- SBBSecho 2.12-Win32
 * Origin: Collin County Station (1:124/6308)