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Text 370, 94 rader
Skriven 2006-07-21 22:56:11 av Ardith Hinton (1:153/716.0)
    Kommentar till text 351 av James Bradley (1:134/77.0)
Ärende: The World Turns
=======================
Hi, James!  Recently you wrote in a message to Ardith Hinton:

JB>  I do need to work on reading people, when someone may
JB>  be too fragile, but I sure weed out the insecure quickly.


          Sometimes one may inadvertently step on a raw nerve before it becomes
apparent to either or both of the parties concerned.  Like you, however, I make
a distinction between "fragile" and "insecure".  An example of the former might
be the modem buddy who is easily thrown into a loop by the use of words such as
"argument" regardless of the context.  An example of the latter might be Nora's
grade one teacher, who was shocked & horrified when I mentioned that her pencil
didn't match her nail polish.  I was trying to illustrate how Nora was confused
by the idea that both would be classified as "red"... but the teacher seemed to
feel her whole outfit, including the pencil, should match perfectly!  I find it
easier to be patient with the former, once I understand what's bugging them.  I
can see how a person from a background where disagreement often led to physical
violence might attach a different connotation to certain words than other folks
do.  OTOH, I couldn't care less what Nora's teachers wear if they can relate to
Nora's viewpoint.  The problem with this teacher was that she didn't... (sigh).



JB>  That may not be a good thing, but equally, not a bad
JB>  thing. Just a thing.


          Uh-huh.  It's not necessarily good or bad, it just *is*....  :-)



JB>  I've opened up a lot of people, who always seem to say,
JB>  "I've never told anyone this before." as they start to
JB>  question what I did to open them up.


          I imagine you've heard this before, but I can't resist sharing my own
thoughts on the subject!  You cheerfully admit to your human foibles... and you
accept yourself just as you are... meaning others feel free to do the same.  It
doesn't work with everybody.  I think I can be reasonably sure, though, that if
I mention a few of my shortcomings you won't memorize and/or misconstrue what I
said & repeat it to the world at large as evidence of your superiority....  ;-)



JB>  Although that is always a good thing in my books, I've
JB>  really felt out of my depth on a few occasions.


          I can relate... we've had a number of situations in this echo where I
felt out of my depth.  But I'm also reminded of the story of Moses, in which he
says "Who... me??" and God says "Yes... you!"  Knowing what I know now, I might
react differently.  Nevertheless, there were people years ago who stumbled into
SURVIVOR by mistake & decided to stay because they liked what they saw....  :-)



JB>  (This sounds like what I've told you earlier.)


          Okay.  If I miss something important, tell me again....  :-)



JB>  If at my worst, and living out of town any distance,
JB>  the reality would come that I have to move closer to
JB>  a grocery store.


          I think we're essentially on the same wave length there.  A friend of
ours sold his house in Vancouver & moved to a condo in the suburbs quite awhile
ago.  With the difference in prices, he was able to put away some money for his
retirement.  Now that he's closer to retiring, though, he's beginning to wonder
how he'll manage if he can't drive any longer.  The idea of living where he did
earlier... 200 yards from a bus stop, half a mile from a major grocery store...
suddenly seems a lot more attractive.  Meanwhile real estate prices in the city
have been skyrocketing & his suburban home is barely worth what he paid for it.
He doesn't actually own any land & hasn't improved the property, as you do, but
I was reminded of him when you said you were using increasingly tortuous routes
to get to the places you were looking at & realized it's not very practical for
you now to live far from the city.  Although your physical limitations may be a
drag, I think they have enabled you to read the writing on the wall sooner than
many others do.  One can't be sure what will happen in the future, of course...
but I think it's wise to consider the possibility that there may be limitations
on one's ability to get around at some point & that one may find it impractical
for the same or different reasons to pull up stakes again later.  I'm still not
sure whether I'm a city mouse or a country mouse at heart, and I understand why
some folks may not want to live in the city.  But there are advantages....  :-)




--- timEd/386 1.10.y2k+
 * Origin: Wits' End, Vancouver CANADA (1:153/716)