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Text 371, 139 rader
Skriven 2006-07-26 00:29:10 av James Bradley (1:134/77.0)
    Kommentar till text 370 av Ardith Hinton (1:153/716.0)
Ärende: The World Turns
=======================
On or about: 07-21-06  22:56, Ardith Hinton did engage James
Bradley regarding, but not limited
to: The World Turns

 JB>  I do need to work on reading people, when someone may
 JB>  be too fragile, but I sure weed out the insecure quickly.


 AH> Sometimes one may inadvertently step on a raw nerve before
 AH> it  becomes apparent to either or both of the parties 
 AH> concerned.  Like you, however, I make a distinction between 
 AH> "fragile" and "insecure".  An example of the former might 
 AH> be the modem buddy who is easily thrown into a loop by the 
 AH> use of words such as "argument" regardless of the context.  

Their exposure to "arguments" may be more traumatic than you or I
are used to. Like a puppy that cowers when someone raises their
hand/voice... Like the lady that shares the elevator as me
looking petrified with fear...

Those are incidences beyond our control, and perhaps those scars
are the ones that will never heal. Too bad they ever are
inflicted, but it aint a perfect world, is it?

 AH> An example of the latter might be Nora's grade one teacher, 
 AH> who was shocked & horrified when I mentioned that her 
 AH> pencil didn't match her nail polish.  I was trying to 
 AH> illustrate how Nora was confused by the idea that both 
 AH> would be classified as "red"... but the teacher seemed to 
 AH> feel her whole outfit, including the pencil, should match 
 AH> perfectly!  I find it easier to be patient with the former, 
 AH> once I understand what's bugging them.  I can see how a 
 AH> person from a background where disagreement often led to 
 AH> physical violence might attach a different connotation to 
 AH> certain words than other folks do.  OTOH, I couldn't care 
 AH> less what Nora's teachers wear if they can relate to Nora's 
 AH> viewpoint.  The problem with this teacher was that she 
 AH> didn't... (sigh).
 
...And may only connect on a superficial level at the best of
times.

It's funny, but when I typed the above, I didn't make a conscious
distinction between fragility and insecurity, but obviously I had
compassion toward the first, and distain toward the second. I
think this points out how a correspondent as yourself can be such
a rewarding exchange. Now I know how those slip in.
 


 AH> I imagine you've heard this before, but I can't resist
 AH> sharing my  own thoughts on the subject!  You cheerfully admit
to your 
 AH> human foibles... and you accept yourself just as you are... 
 AH> meaning others feel free to do the same.  It doesn't work 
 AH> with everybody.  I think I can be reasonably sure, though, 
 AH> that if I mention a few of my shortcomings you won't 
 AH> memorize and/or misconstrue what I said & repeat it to the 
 AH> world at large as evidence of your superiority....  ;-)
 
Well, I wouldn't consider myself superior by dragging someone
through the dirt. Quite the opposite, and you knew that. I wasn't
trained to think that way, as my parents are quite a pair of
nay-sayers, but I made a concerted effort to smarten up, exactly to
that point.

I also have exposure to parents, that I can usually jab with a
quirk which might not be considered flattering. In humour I can
usually breach otherwise uncomfortable subjects. When I try to
transplant that cutting humour, it doesn't always work out as
intended. /-: Yin and Yang are in
harmony. (-:

 
 AH> I can relate... we've had a number of situations in this
 AH> echo where  I felt out of my depth.  But I'm also reminded of
the story
 AH> of Moses, in which he says "Who... me??" and God says 
 AH> "Yes... you!"  Knowing what I know now, I might react 
 AH> differently.  Nevertheless, there were people years ago who 
 AH> stumbled into SURVIVOR by mistake & decided to stay because 
 AH> they liked what they saw....  :-)
 
L!!! Alla Taxi Driver, "I don't see anybody else here. You talkin'
to me?"

That was referring to the Moses quote, not the lack of Fido
traffic.
 

 AH> I think we're essentially on the same wave length there.  A
 AH> friend  of ours sold his house in Vancouver & moved to a condo
in 
 AH> the suburbs quite awhile ago.  With the difference in 
 AH> prices, he was able to put away some money for his 
 AH> retirement.  Now that he's closer to retiring, though, he's 
 AH> beginning to wonder how he'll manage if he can't drive any 
 AH> longer.  The idea of living where he did earlier... 200 
 AH> yards from a bus stop, half a mile from a major grocery 
 AH> store... suddenly seems a lot more attractive.  Meanwhile 
 AH> real estate prices in the city have been skyrocketing & his 
 AH> suburban home is barely worth what he paid for it. He 
 AH> doesn't actually own any land & hasn't improved the 
 AH> property, as you do, but I was reminded of him when you 
 AH> said you were using increasingly tortuous routes to get to 
 AH> the places you were looking at & realized it's not very 
 AH> practical for you now to live far from the city.  Although 
 AH> your physical limitations may be a drag, I think they have 
 AH> enabled you to read the writing on the wall sooner than 
 AH> many others do.  One can't be sure what will happen in the 
 AH> future, of course... but I think it's wise to consider the 
 AH> possibility that there may be limitations on one's ability 
 AH> to get around at some point & that one may find it 
 AH> impractical for the same or different reasons to pull up 
 AH> stakes again later.  I'm still not sure whether I'm a city 
 AH> mouse or a country mouse at heart, and I understand why 
 AH> some folks may not want to live in the city.  But there are 
 AH> advantages....  :-)

That may be a bright way to look at it, but it still saddens me
every day that I can't just up, and supplant myself somewhere.
That's truly reality, but not being able to accomplish what I've
been tooling up to do: A) Leaves me with a lot of spare parts. B)
Leaves me with a surplus of tools.

Ya, I wish there was a happy ending in store, but those chances are
slim, and Slim left the building. I can't make could-a should-a's.
That would destroy me. I'm destine to struggle on, and
that's a bitch wherever you live. /-:

Due to longevity in the family tree, it looks like I'll have a long
slog in front of me. *That's* not good or bad, it just is...

... James

___ Blue Wave/QWK v2.20

--- Maximus 3.01
 * Origin: -=-= Calgary Organization CDN (403) 242-3221 (1:134/77)